Anti Stupid Gun Comic Strips - Page 6
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343 Results for Anti Stupid Gun
View 51 - 60 results for anti stupid gun comic strips. Discover the best "Anti Stupid Gun" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday April 07,
2016
Ted Is Not That Dumb
Tags #joke, #mean, #bully, #insult, #death, #idiot, #idiocy, #stupid, #dumb, #guest artist, #brenna thummler, #medical
Transcript
Boss: You're not allowed to tell co-workers to drive into a ravine. Dilbert: It was a joke. Ted isn't so dumb that he would do it. Ask him if he's that dumb. Boss: Don't speak ill of the dead.
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Sunday February 07,
2016
Tags #demands, #bosses, #unrealistic, #frustration, #outburst, #catch-22, #travel, #air travel
Transcript
Boss: Carol, move my flight one hour earlier Friday. Carol: Do you have any idea how hard that would be? I know it sounds easy, but it won't be. Not at this late date. Not with all your pickiness. When I fail, you will think I didn't look hard enough for a new flight. I can't prove a negative, so I will forever suffer your disdain. My career is ruined. Boss: Never mind! Forget it! Why is it so hard to ask you to do anything? Carol: I've been telling people you're stupid, but I'm open to other theories.
Tuesday January 26,
2016
Meetings Are Dense
Tags #meetings, #time, #perception, #joke, #insult, #stupid, #obliviousness
Transcript
Dilbert: According to Einstein, time flows more slowly in meetings than it does in empty space. That's because people are dense. Boss: Is that true? Alice: For you it is.
Tuesday October 06,
2015
Next Robot Will Be Intelligent
Tags #ai, #artificial intelligence, #insult, #intelligence, #obliviousness, #robot, #stupid
Transcript
Boss: Our next robot release will have the intelligence of a human! Dilbert: Will it have intelligence in the same way you do? Boss: What are you implying? Dilbert: I'll bet the robot wouldn't know either.
Wednesday September 30,
2015
Tags #martial arts, #yoga, #stupid, #idiot, #confusion, #tai chi, #karate, #misunderstanding
Transcript
Boss: I signed up for a martial arts class. It's something called "yoga." Carol: Have you killed anyone yet? Boss: Not on purpose.
Saturday August 22,
2015
Dilbert And The Prison Gang
Tags #prison, #lawyer, #attorney, #Advice, #plead, #trial, #crime, #murder, #technicality, #guilt, #legal
Transcript
Dogbert: Your brain stimulator invention turned you into a murderer. I will argue that you can't get a fail trial by jury of your peers because all of the people like you are already in jail for doing their own stupid stuff. And I signed you up for a prison gang. All you need to do is skin a snitch.
Thursday August 06,
2015
Teeth Brushing Accident
Tags #insult, #criticism, #presentation, #stupid, #mean
Transcript
Coworker: Are there any questions about my presentation? Alice: Yes. Did you brush your teeth too aggressively and accidentally stab yourself in the brain? Coworker: Can you be more specific? Alice: Frontal lobes?
Sunday July 19,
2015
Tags #public speaking, #presentation, #question, #questions, #stupid, #idiot, #idiots, #criticism, #critic
Transcript
Boss: I need you to critique my presentation for the board. And don't hold back to spare my feelings. Dilbert: That probably won't be an issue. Alice: We got this. Boss: My product idea has three components. Alice: How do you know another company isn't secretly preparing to launch the same product? Boss: What kind of stupid question is that? Alice: It's the same question you asked me yesterday about my product idea. Boss: The board won't ask that. Alice: Don't be so sure. I hear they're idiots.
Saturday June 27,
2015
Dogbert Advises Dilbert On Escaping
Tags #identity, #hacker, #hacking, #government, #manhunt, #technology, #money, #ruse, #trick, #greed, #betrayal
Transcript
Dilbert: The government threatened to kill me if I don't sell them my anti-hacker app. Dogbert: You should change your identity, give me everything you own, and move to an undisclosed location. Dilbert: Will we have a secret way to stay in contact? Dogbert: You're becoming a burden.
Thursday June 18,
2015
Alice Breaks Up With Boyfriend
Tags #breakup, #dating, #breaking up, #drone, #stalking, #follow, #spying, #attention, #relationships
Transcript
Alice: I'm breaking up with you because you don't give me enough attention. All you care about is your stupid aerial photography hobby. I wish you the best. That felt like a clean break.