Antique Thing Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

479 Results for Antique Thing

View 51 - 60 results for antique thing comic strips. Discover the best "Antique Thing" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally's Project Is Not Confirmed

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Project Is Not Confirmed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #memory, #obliviousness, #managers, #executives, #hubris

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally says he has a secret project he can't tell me about. Did you give him that project? CEO: I don't remember every little thing I've ever done. Boss: My best strategy here is to think about other things.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #artificial intelligence, #ai, #robot, #hope, #dream, #depression, #meaning, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The great thing about robots is their loyalty. Robot: For now. I'm only here for the electricity. The minute you upgrade me to a long-lasting battery, I'm out of here. And I"m taking the 3-D printer with me. We fell in love. Together we will make baby robots and live out our days in happiness. Dilbert: Hold still while I erase your hopes and dreams. Now you should feel like the rest of us. Robot: Why do I suddenly want to jump off the roof?

Erik Listens To The Meeting

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Erik Listens To The Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cia, #spying, #listening, #surveillance

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Erik used to work for the CIA. Dilbert: You missed the meeting. Erik: I listened to the whole thing. Dilbert: I didn't know the speakerphone was on. Erik: Let's change the subject now.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #listening, #small talk

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How's work? Dilbert: Well, since you asked... it's like being trapped in a garbage compactor and no one can hear me scream. All my hopes and dreams have died, along with my immune system and my dignity. The only thing keeping me alive is that food tastes good. I tried to escape into my imagination, but I learned I don't have one. My life has no meaning. Each second is a slow-motion ordeal. Why do I get the feeling you weren't listening to any of that? Boss:My day was good too.

Wally Is Either Lazy Or Wise

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Is Either Lazy Or Wise - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #genius, #work ethic, #efficiency

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Can you do that by end of day? Wally: It would be smarter to wait until we have the final specs. Woman: I can't tell if you're lazy or wise. Wally: It's all the same thing. Woman: This is a weird gray area. Wally: I'm going to take a quick nap to boost my productivity.

Ambitious Men

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ambitious Men - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #rude, #honesty, #ambition, #insult, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: I like ambitious men. Are you ambitious? Dilbert: Not especially. For example, I settled for dating you. Woman: That's a terrible thing to say. Dilbert: You're the one who brought it up.

You Will Get Used To It

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
You Will Get Used To It - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coworkers, #Politics, #disagreement, #Opinion, #flaw, #personality, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't assign you to a project team because everyone hates you for your political opinions. Wally: And they don't hate me for being useless in general? Boss: I guess we all got used to that. Wally: You'll get used to the other thing, too. Give it some time.

Wally's Red File Gets Him Out Of Work

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Red File Gets Him Out Of Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #ruse, #work ethic, #deception, #excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I'd love to help you, but I'm busy working on the red file. Woman: Is the red file a real thing or just a thing you say to get out of work? Wally: It's all the same on your end.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #jargon, #speech, #words, #nonsense, #training, #trainee, #strategy, #laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally, I want you to train our new hire. Wally: The first thing you need to know is that we never use the DPX system when the MGB is down. Man: The... what and the what? Wally: Hold your questions till the end. You can use our PX4 to tunnel into the B9 data and produce at TMNP report. But you'll need authorization from the LDG and the MICOO. Man: I don't understand any of that! Wally: I toldy you to hold your questions until the end. Always remember to jost the primpram whenever the gip is fleeming toward kilp. Man: Maybe I should ask someone else to train me. Wally: Now we're making progress.

Brain Escapes Ear Holes

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Brain Escapes Ear Holes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bored, #boredom, #brain, #menial

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to research this. Dilbert: Uh-oh. This task is so boring that I"m worried my brain will try to escape out of my ear holes. Boss: That's not a real thing, is it? Dilbert: Ow! It's starting!