Apple Core Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

56 Results for Apple Core

View 51 - 56 results for apple core comic strips. Discover the best "Apple Core" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags elbonians, afford, just mud, couch shopping network, manage resources, sold country, little jars, molten lava, earths core

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his cubicle. He asks Dogbert, "How could the Elbonians afford to buy this company? Their whole country is just mud." Dogbert imagines a television screen showing an Elbonian holding a container with the figure "$119.95" above him. Dogbert answers, "They packaged the mud and sold it as a cosmetic on the 'Couch Shopping Network.' They made trillions." Hugging his knees to his chest, Dilbert comments, "At least they know how to manage resources." Dogbert replies, "They sold their entire country in little jars. Most Elbonians perished in molten lava at the Earth's core."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags make a suggestion, idea rat, multi disciplinary forces, processes

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Alice, Ratbert and Ted sit at a conference table. Ratbert asks, "Excuse me . . . I'm only an intern, but may I make a suggestion?" Ratbert says, "Let's form multidisciplinary task forces to reengineer our core processes until we're a world class organization!" The Boss says, "Sounds good. Go do it." Ratbert says, "I'm more of an idea rat."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, Dilbert, business meeting, performance review

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss asks, "So, what have you accomplished this year?" Dilbert thinks, "I hate performance reviews." Dilbert replies, "Well, I used my empowerment to create a new paradigm." Dilbert continues, "And I teamed across functional boundaries to improve quality." Dilbert continues, "I dare say I was customer-focused and market-driven!" Dilbert holds his arms out and says, "I proactively found excellence in the midst of chaos!" Dilbert continues, "I re-engineered my core processes and embraced change!" Dilbert stands up and bows. He says, "I give you - Dilbert - the perfect employee!" The Boss asks, "Was that sarcasm?" Dilbert replies, "To be honest, I don't know either."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, man, parking lot, car

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert stand in a parking lot. A man approaches their car and says, "Hey! Dilbert! Is that your nerdmobile?" The man laughs. Dilbert thinks, "It's my old high school nemesis, Chuck." Chuck says, "Maybe you'd like to race me in my Corvette." He laughs. Dilbert points to his car and says, "Actually, Chuck, if you had taken a science class you'd know this a 'Seebeck effect' power plant capable of 600 miles per hour." Dilbert continues, "Any idiot knows you can get massive power simply by using the sun to heat the junction of two dissimilar wires joined at both ends." Dilbert continues, "Apparently I'm faster AND smarter than you. And these tax forms show that I also earn more than you." Dogbert holds up the forms. Chuck says, "Here's a picture of my new girlfriend. She teaches aerobics." Dilbert says, "He's winning. Help me out here, Dogbert." Dogbert waves his paw and says, "Step aside." Dogbert tells Chuck, "I notice that your girlfriend has unusually large hands and a very pronounced Adam's apple." Chuck asks, "So?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, ratbert, channeling, hostility, art, bowl, fruit, banana, hates, apple

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at the table and Ratbert stands on the table holding a paintbrush and palette. Ratbert looks at his easel and says, "I'm channeling all of my pain and hostility into my art." Dogbert says, "All I see is a bowl of fruit." Ratbert makes angry brushstrokes and replies, "The banana HATES the apple."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, ratbert, snack, apple, rat, worst, part, eat

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. Ratbert enters carrying an apple and says, "Snack time, Dilbert! I brought you an apple so you will like me!" Dilbert says, "Nice try, Ratbert, but I don't want to eat something that was touched by a rat." Ratbert says sadly, "The worst part is that's why I didn't eat it myself."