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68 Results for Bonus

View 51 - 60 results for bonus comic strips. Discover the best "Bonus" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags excellent performance, no bonus, lost fortune, elbonian collpase, fault for working here

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The boss and Dlbert sit at the Boss' desk, The Boss says, "Your performance was excellent, but there's no bonus this year." Dilbert says,"Why not?" The Boss says, "The company lost a fortune in the Elbonian currency collapse." The Boss says, "But in a way, it's your own fault for working here." Dilbert says,"Thanks. That takes the sting out."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bonus, discontinue, profcits, recorded message, redirect, serve customers better, tech support, evil

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Ted sits at the conference table next to Dilbert. He says, "We're discontinuing technical support of all our products." Ted continues, "A recorded message will explain it to the called this way..." Ted says, "'In order to serve our customers better, we've discontinued technical support.'" Dilbert looks at Ted and asks, "How does that serve customers better?" Ted answers, "We'll redirect those resources to other areas." Dilbert asks, "What other areas?" Ted replies, "Profits." Ted continues, "That makes your bonus larger. Any other questions?" Dilbert says, "Apparently I'm engulfed in evil." Ted says, "That's the spirit."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags interfered with project, empowering employees, bonus, real boss, body in dumpster, boss acting unusual

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Dilbert and The Boss. Dilbert says, "You haven't interfered with my project in weeks. Something must be wrong." The Boss responds, "I believe in empowering my employees and staying out of the way." Dilbert, in a surprised manner, says, "Am I going to find my real boss's body in a dumpster?" The Boss says, "There's extra money in the budget. Would you like a bonus?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deputy of common sense, motivate emplyees, insulting gifts, symbolism, chess pieces, same team, pawns, saving rooks

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Dogbert is dressed as a policeman and stands on The Boss's desk and says, "You are accused of trying to motivate employees with insulting gifts." The Boss says, "You're missing the symbolism. I gave them chess pieces to show them we're all on the same team." Dogbert hass a hand on his gun and syas, "Specifically, you gave them pawns." The Boss says, "I'm saving the rooks for bonus day."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags alice, bonus, capitalism, flawed premise, less work, wally bonus, worked less, implications staggering, frightening bonus

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Alice, Wally and Dilbert sit at a table. Alice says, "I did less work than usual this quarter and I got a bonus." Alice says, "The implications are staggering. The entire system of capitalism has a flawed premise." Alice says, "There's only ONE thing that could make this bonus more frightening." Wally says, "I got one, too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags be specific, bounus, congratulations, expect bonus, good work, act randomly

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The Boss says, "Alice, here's a bonus for your good work." Alice asks, "On what?" The Boss says, "I can't be specific, because then you might do it again and expect another bonus." Alice says, "Congratulations; you've motivated me to act randomly." The Boss points and says, "I'm going over here and I don't know why."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags promise the customer, build in month, timing probelm, shifting blame, engineering, spending huge bonus, blame transfer

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Dilbert sits at a conference table with several people. A salesman tells them, "I had to promise the customer we could build the thing in a month even though you said it was impossible." The salesperson continues, "I'll solve the timing problem by shifting blame to engineering while spending the huge bonus I got for the sale." Dilbert says, "Your planning has improved." The man closes his eyes and says, "Beginning blame transfer now . . ." The other people at the table growl.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags how big bonus, work on project, digits

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Alice tells Dilbert, "Today I'll find out how big my bonus will be." Alice continues, "After all the work I did on that project, I'm thinking four digits, maybe five." Later, Dilbert asks, "How many digits?" Alice replies, "I used one on each hand."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags job security, past, vanished, blunders of management, motivation, fluttered away

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Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "Now that job security is a thing of the past, I've noticed that my company loyalty has vanished, too." Dilbert continues, "And when you made my bonus primarily dependent on the blunders of senior management, my motivation fluttered away like a lonely sparrow." The Boss asks, "So your point is?" Dilbert says, "No point. I just didn't have any reason to be working."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags quality assurance, heres resume, words spelled wrong, not even bothered, hired, base salry

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Ratbert stands on the Boss's desk and says, "I'd be perfect for the job in quality assurance. Here's my resume." The Boss looks at the resume and asks, "Are you bothered by the fact that half of your words are spelled wrong?" Ratbert replies, "Nope! I'm not even bothered by your anal-retentive behavior." The Boss says, "You're hired. Your bonus will equal negative 100% of your base salary, okay?" Ratbert says, "I don't see any problem with that."