Bright Side Comic Strips - Page 6
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Dilbert says, "Our charitable giving has caused some unintended consequences." Dilbert says, "It sparked a hobo war. The east side of the city is in flames." The Boss says, "Well, it could be worse." Dilbert says, "They tasted human flesh, and they like it."
Tina: I hear your soul was crushed and Catbert slapped off your dried-up head. Try this juice I've been selling on the side, it's made from actually berries. Spoit! Tina: Oh, crud. That was the placebo."
Dilbert: Our competitors just made new five-year plan moot. While we were strategizing, they were doing something I believe they call 'work. On the plus side, I managed to salvage some joy by mocking you. The Boss: Whatever you're doing stop it."
"My side job as a cartoonist is doing well, so this is my resignation." "My new career involves sitting around in my pajamas and thinking of ways to ridicule you." "Actually, it's not so much a letter of resignation as it is a drawing of your body with a manure head."
"I heard that you started a comic strip on the side." "You're in my seat, fly bait. Move or I'll pound your head so hard you'll have to remove your pants to read." "Did I miss anything about teamwork?" "Where do you get your ideas?"
"Wally has a laziness disability. If you fire him, I will sue you for violating labor laws." "Furthermore, he is part endangered butterfly, on his mother's side." "As we speak, he's looking for a workplace hazard to roll around in."
"This week I tried to work, but pop-up messages kept telling me to update my computer's software." "I tried closing the pop-up windows, but they just kept coming back. There were too many of them!" "Did you upgrade your software?" "Great. I see whose side you're on."
"Human resources tells me that you refused to take the random drug test." "I didn't refuse. I literally can't do it because I have a shy bladder. It's a medical condition that 7% of men have." "I hope you will understand." "It's a side effect of the nose candy, right?"