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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "Do you know the difference between an electric razor and a toaster?" Dilbert replies, "No." Dogbert says, "No??? Geez, it must take you a long time to shave. Do you burn your face a lot?" Dilbert says, "I thought you were telling a joke." Dogbert asks, "How long have you had this problem?"
Dilbert sits in a giant slingshot holding his suitcase. Dilbert says, "I wish there were an easier way to fly in Elbonia." Dilbert flies through the air over Elbonia. Dilbert thinks, "I've got to find Dogbert and convince him to stop being the despotic ruler of Elbonia." Dogbert, who is wearing a miter, sits on the back of an Elbonian and points a rifle toward the sky. The Elbonian says, "But, sire, this is the airport, not the skeet-shooting range." Dogbert yells, "Pull!"
Dilbert sits in his chair watching the television news. The newscaster says, "In world news, the tiny country of Elbonia has become a despotic monarchy." The news anchorman continues, "The new ruler is King Dogbert, who claims to be a descendant of the Elbonian Deity 'Doug.'" In Elbonia, Dogbert rides on the back of an Elbonian and hits him on the back of his head. Dogbert is wearing a miter and holding a scepter. Dogbert thinks, "I hope this doesn't go to my head."
Dogbert and Ratbert stand on the edge of a cliff. Dogbert says, "I come up here and use visualization to achieve my goals." Dogbert continues, "You can get anything you want by visualizing it." Ratbert replies, "Wow! I've got to try that!" Dogbert says, "I'm the ruler of the world." Ratbert says, "You're a big hunk of cheese."
Dogbert stands on the edge of a cliff and yells, "I am Dogbert, the supreme ruler of earth!!" Dogbert yells, "Worship me, you ignorant masses!!" Dogbert says to Ratbert, "That was practice." Ratbert replies, "Darn, now my eyes are stuck in zombie mode . . ."
Dogbert sits on a pillow watching tv. He thinks, "The more I watch television, the more I wonder why I'm not already supreme ruler of earth." Dogbert walks away thinking, "Those people are idiots. They should all drive over here and proclaim me their king." Dogbert returns to the pillow with a bag of potato chips and thinks, "The secret to happiness is high expectations and your own bag of chips."
Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dogbert says, "I've been thinking about my goal of becoming the supreme ruler of earth . . ." Dilbert says, "I know EXACTLY how you feel. I once had a goal of growing a mustache . . . But it was beyond my grasp." Dilbert continues, "I mean, figuratively beyond my grasp. I could still reach my upper lip, you understand . . . But there was no reason to try." Dogbert says, "Right, but back to me . . ."
Dogbert walks away from the mailbox holding a letter. He says, "Ha ha ha! My scheme to conquer earth is right on track!" Dilbert sits at a desk working on a device. Dogbert enters the room and announces, "I've been approved for a Macy's credit card!" Dogbert says, "I'll use this credit history to apply for Visa and Mastercard." Dogbert continues, "Soon I'll have credit cards from every bank in the world." Dogbert continues, "Then I'll do a cash advance on every card, netting billions to form a worldwide lottery prize." Dogbert continues, "And everybody who supports me as supreme ruler of earth gets one free lottery ticket." Dilbert says, "You know, most dogs would be delighted just to get a nice chew-toy."
Dogbert: Santa! Santa: Merry Christmas, Dogbert! I'm glad you're up... I'm having a little trouble with your christmas list. In your letter you say you want to be named supreme ruler of earth. Dogbert: Is that a problem? Santa: Frankly, my workshop is more oriented toward small consumer goods... Dogbert: Can I have an elf? Dilbert: Has, G.I. Joe taken up ballet, or is this something I don't want to know about?
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert says, "God spoke to me today. He appointed me ruler of all creatures on earth." Dilbert replies, "God did NOT speak to you." Dogbert says as he walks away, "It was worth a shot."