Ceo Comic Strips - Page 6

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627 Results for Ceo

View 51 - 60 results for ceo comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.

Bad Denials

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Bad Denials - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, spying, elbonia

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ceo: have you confirmed that the cyber attacks are coming from elbonia? dilbert: no. ceo: i guess that means you are on their side. dilbert: what? catbert: what proof do you have that dilbert is a spy? ceo: he didn't deny it the way I think he should have.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bugs, business, fire, office, office workers, quit, system

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ceo: ned won 't return any of my messages. ceo: fire him the boss: i can't do that. the boss holding hands out: ned is indispensable. ceo: what makes him indispensable? the boss: he's the only one who knows how to fix bugs in our system. ceo: what system? the boss: i don't know. ceo: then how do you know he's indispensable? the boss: ned told me. ceo: fire him anyway. dilbert: ned quit two years ago.

Engineers Don't Lie

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Engineers Don't Lie - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, office, office workers, ceo

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the boss: i saw dilbert talking to the ceo. i think he's trying to undermine me. catbert: engineers don't lie. the boss: that's what worries me.

Chatting With The Ceo

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Chatting With The Ceo - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, sarcasm, ceo

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the boss: i saw you chatting with our eco. what was that all about? dilbert: we were talking about what a great job you do. dilbert: you believe that, right? the boss: seems plausible.

Not In My Town

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Not In My Town - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, engineering, office, office workers, nuclear

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dilbert: i engineered a totally safe design for nuclear power plants. ceo: how sure are you that it is safe? dilbert: one hundred percent. ceo: just keep it away from my town. dilbert: maybe it wasn't an engineering problem after all.

Birds Cause Hurricanes

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Birds Cause Hurricanes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, ceo, research, nonsense, hurricans, birds, noted, polar bears, hate, snow

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CEO: I don't know enough about climate change to sound smart when people talk about it. Boss: Try doing your own research. That's how I learned that hurricanes are caused by birds. CEO: Write that down for me. Boss: And did you know polar bear hate snow?

Employee Engagement Is Up

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Employee Engagement Is Up - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, managers & supervisors, obliviousness, questions, data, measurement

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Boss: And I've improved employee engagement by nineteen percent. CEO: What is employee engagement? Boss: I'm not entirely sure. CEO: Then how do you measure it? Boss: Honestly, I wasn't expecting a lot of questions.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, decision, executives, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, success, manipulation

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CEO: Profits have increased thirty percent under my leadership. Dilbert: Snort. CEO: What? Dilbert: All you do is pick the best plans from the options we show you. CEO: Exactly, and I pick the best plan every time. Dilbert: That's because we only show you the best plans compared to the worst plans we can think of. We control every decision you make by manipulating your perception of the options. CEO: We need to fix that. Dilbert: How do you fix something that isn't broken?

Crypto Key

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Crypto Key - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ceo, Wally, cryptocurrency, wallet, disappeared, private, key

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CEO: I put five thousand dollars into the cryptocurrency wallet you created for me and it disappeared! You're the only other person who knew my password and private key. Wally: That's not true. I shared them with Dilbert to create reasonable doubt.

Ceo Wants A Crypto Wallet

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Ceo Wants A Crypto Wallet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ceo, Wally, crypto, cryptocurrency, game, private key, password, done, care

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CEO: How do I get a crypto wallet so I can get into the cryptocurrency game? Wally: I'll set one up for you and give you the private key and password when I'm done. CEO: I don't know how to thank you. Wally: That'll take care of itself.