Change Comic Strips - Page 6
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255 Results for Change
View 51 - 60 results for change comic strips. Discover the best "Change" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday June 27,
2015
Dogbert Advises Dilbert On Escaping
Tags #identity, #hacker, #hacking, #government, #manhunt, #technology, #money, #ruse, #trick, #greed, #betrayal
Transcript
Dilbert: The government threatened to kill me if I don't sell them my anti-hacker app. Dogbert: You should change your identity, give me everything you own, and move to an undisclosed location. Dilbert: Will we have a secret way to stay in contact? Dogbert: You're becoming a burden.
Wednesday May 13,
2015
Agree With Idiots To Gain Trust
Tags #condescention, #condescending, #agreement, #mocking, #insult, #insulting
Transcript
Boss: Stop agreeing with me in ways that sound like you don't mean it. Dilbert: Experts say one should first agree with idiots to gain trust before trying to change their minds. Boss: You need to stop doing that. Dilbert: You are so right about that.
Friday March 20,
2015
Pipe Down, Coffee Intern
Tags #board meeting, #change, #coffee, #demotion, #ego, #ideas, #Promotion, #intern, #new ideas
Transcript
Asok: Is it wise to ride your coffee intern to a board meeting? Wally: Pipe down, coffee intern. If you were capable of thinking like a leader, you would be a VP too. Dilbert: Demoted already? Wally: The board does not like new ideas.
Friday March 06,
2015
Male Parts And Nothing Can Change It
Tags #discrimination, #fairness, #money, #salary, #sexism, #wages, #Women, #male body parts
Transcript
CEO: I explained to Alice why I earn more than she does, but she refuses to understand. I'm taller and I have male reproductive body parts. That's what stockholders care about, and nothing can change that. (Alice whistles as she walks with a pair of scissors and a mallet.)
Sunday February 22,
2015
Tags #deadline, #expectation, #impossible, #irrational, #leadership, #motivation, #rationality
Transcript
Boss: How many days will it take to finish the tests? Dilbert: Three. Boss: You have two. Dilbert: I can't do it in two days. That's why I said three. Boss: That was before I used my leadership skills to tell you to do it in two days. Dilbert: Leadership doesn't change the laws of physics. The test takes three days. Boss: You have two. Leadership! These test results look incomplete. Dilbert: Just like my soul.
Friday February 13,
2015
Dilbert Knows How To Negotiate
Tags #deadlines, #delivery, #management, #negotiating, #negotiation, #reorganization
Transcript
Negotiations Continue. Salesman: I can't meet your delivery deadline unless you agree to my price today. Dilbert: If you don't agree to my price today, management is likely to do a reorg soon and change its mind about this project. Salesman: How often does that happen? Dilbert: It hasn't happened since breakfast, so we're overdue.
Friday September 05,
2014
Tags #bunch of names, #complaining, #name of new app, #new app, #underscore, #suggestions
Transcript
CEO: I don't like the name of our new app. You need to change it. Dilbert: Perhaps you can underscore your point by suggesting a bunch of names that are already taken. Do you mind if I think of other things while you do that?
Wednesday August 27,
2014
Tags #thinking, #technology problem, #executive attention netowrk, #social awareness, #radical change, #sarcasm
Transcript
Dilbert: I have to warn you that I'll be going deep on a technology problem today. I'll be using the executive attention network of my brain at the expense of my social awareness. Boss: Sounds like a radical change. Dilbert: I can't tell if that was sarcasm.
Saturday July 26,
2014
Tags #surveillance, #outsourced micromanaging, #amazons mechanical turk, #other countries, #computer cameras, #criticize, #resisting change
Transcript
Boss: I outsourced my micromanaging to Amazon's mechanical Turk. People in other countries will watch you on your computer cameras and criticize every move you make. Dilbert: That feels like a terrible idea. Turk: Stop resisting change.
Sunday June 22,
2014
Tags #managers & supervisors, #change recommendation, #approval, #feel ownership, #feel you own me, #ignorant decisions, #more clear, #agreement, #business
Transcript
Boss: Change your recommendation to the opposite of what you wrote and send it to me for approval. Dilbert: Why do I need approval for the thing you just approved? Boss: I want you to feel some ownership. Dilbert: I already feel that you own me. Boss: I mean that I want you to feel ownership of the recommendation. Dilbert: How can I feel ownership of your ignorant decisions? Boss: By getting my approval for them. I can't be more clear. Dilbert: At least we agree on that.