Compensation Packages Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

55 Results for Compensation Packages

View 51 - 55 results for compensation packages comic strips. Discover the best "Compensation Packages" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new compensation, bonuses paid, top ten percent, resigned bitter disgust, get better jobs

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "The company announced a new compensation plan today. Bonuses will be paid only to the top ten percent of the employees." The Boss continues, "In related news, 89% of the employees resigned in bitter disgust. The top ten percent also left, realizing they could get better jobs elsewhere." The Boss concludes, "This could have an impact on those of you who remain." Wally asks, "We get the bonuses?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mister catbert, total compensation plan, salary alone, danger, balances out, employee benefits, lower blood pressure, rubbing soft belly, trick, health benefit

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Catbert, Dilbert, Alice and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Mister Catbert will explain our new 'total compensation plan' for excellence." Catbert says, "We no longer view compensation in the narrow terms of salary alone." Dilbert, Alice and Wally think, "Danger! Danger!" Catbert continues, "If employee benefits go up, then salaries can go down and it all balances out." Catbert lies on the table and says, "For example, did you know you could lower your blood pressure by rubbing my soft, furry belly?" Alice says, "It might be a trick!" Wally thinks, "What's the worst thing that could happen?" Wally rubs Catbert's stomach and Catbert shouts, "Ha ha ha!!! It's a health benefit! Now I'll cut everybody's salary!" Dilbert, Alice and Wally look shocked and their hair and clothing is disheveled. Dilbert says, "I've noticed that the more health benefits I get, the worse I feel."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags consulting comany, executive compensation, ninety percent, overpaid, repeat business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: the dogcart consulting company has reviewed the executive compensation plan as you requested. My conclusion is that you're already hideously overpaid, Im recommending ninety percent pay cuts and a whack in th head for each of you. I"ll bet you don't get much repeat business. Dogbert: Oh yeah, as if Id want to spend more time with you.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Opinion, charge fee, copensation, idiots, cost you

View Transcript

Transcript

"From now on, I'm going to charge anybody who gives me their opinion." "People are idiots. If I have to listen to their opinions, I deserve compensation." "You're forgetting that 'from the mouths of babes...comes...something good." "That'll cost you a buck."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags genetic research, clone, obedient slaves, conquer, world dominion, living things, work on giant cucumbers, arms and legs

View Transcript

Transcript

Genetic research Dogbert: Id like you to clone an army of obedient slaves for me, I plan to conquer the world and have dominion over all living things. scientist: I mostly work on giant cucumbers. Dogbert: Mix in some arms and legs and give me two packages of seeds.