Competition (Psychology) Comic Strips - Page 6
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237 Results for Competition (Psychology)
View 51 - 60 results for competition (psychology) comic strips. Discover the best "Competition (Psychology)" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday December 15,
2016
Asok Has Worst Job In The World
Tags hit man, job, happiness, satisfaction, doppelganger, double, lookalike, business, psychology
Transcript
Asok: I thought I accidentally killed the creator of Garfield, but it turns out I killed his body double. Our boss ordered me to do the hit. I have the worst job in the world. Dilbert: No, I think that body double has the worst job. Asok: I'm only talking about the living.
Monday December 05,
2016
Exploding Phones
Tags bomb, cell phone, samsung, fire, explosion, competition, technology
Transcript
Dilbert: We're getting bad press because the batteries in our new line of mobile phones keep exploding. Boss: Load them into a big truck and park it in front of our competitor's building. Dilbert: Technically, that would be domestic terrorism. Boss: There are way too many laws.
Wednesday November 16,
2016
Employee Weight Loss Contest
Tags obesity, health, weight loss, weight, dieting, cheating, competition, medical
Transcript
CEO: Next month is employee health awareness month, so we decided to have a weight-loss competition. We'll start on the first of the month, and the winner gets a week of paid vacation. Wally: When he thinks back on this, he'll realize he shouldn't have given us three weeks to bulk up before the first weigh-in.
Saturday November 12,
2016
Bought His Last Company
Tags comparison, comparing, merger, acquisition, liquidation, layoff, redundancy, big business, competition, darwin
Transcript
Man: That's now how we did it at my prior company. Boss: We bought your old company, fired all of the employees, and discontinued all of its products. Man: How is that possible? Boss: It's called "survival of the fittest." It's just science.
Friday November 11,
2016
Nothing Else To Talk About
Tags personality, boring, bored, conversation, small talk, psychology
Transcript
Man: Do you want to know how we would have handled this situation at my old job? Dilbert: No. Dilbert: Nothing would interest me less. Man: My only other topics of conversation are my health problems and TV shows you haven't seen. Dilbert: I stand corrected.
Thursday November 10,
2016
Talking About The Last Job
Tags personality, comparing, employees, dumb, business, psychology
Transcript
Man: I will now compare my last job to this one because it is all I ever talk about. Everyone was so much smarter at my old job. Fuh-fuh-fuh-fuh. Dilbert: I assume that's why they fired you. Man: Lucky guess.
Wednesday November 02,
2016
Topper Signs Document
Tags one-up, best, competition, deception, trick, signature
Transcript
Topper. Dilbert: I once signed my entire first name to a document. Topper: That's nothing! Watch me sign my entire full name to that document! Dilbert: Sometimes you can be predictable. Topper: That's nothing! I don't even have free will!
Monday September 26,
2016
Ceo Sits On His Wallet
Tags complaining, perspective, suffering, competition
Transcript
CEO: I hate to complain, but it hurts when I sit on my wallet for too long. Asok: I risked an honor killing to pay my rent. CEO: This is why I hate to complain. Asok: I know a hundred ways to eat a spider.
Sunday September 25,
2016
Tags mentor, mentorship, competition, honesty, truth
Transcript
Dilbert: I need some mentoring. Boss: This is awkward. On one hand, helping you would make me appear wise and generous. On the other hand, it would make you a more credible threat to take my job. I see you as more of an adversary than a subordinate. That's why I withhold vital information that you need to do your job. I've already said too much. Wally: Did you learn anything? Dilbert: Yes, unfortunately.
Wednesday September 14,
2016
Only Work If You'd Rather Do Something Else
Tags fulfillment, happiness, satisfaction, work ethic, motivation, psychology
Transcript
Boss: Remember, it's only work if you'd rather be doing something else! Tina: I would rather do anything else. Boss: Oh. In that case, you're trapped in a nightmare that never ends. Tina: I have a lot riding on the afterlife.

