Decision Process Comic Strips - Page 6

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219 Results for Decision Process

View 51 - 60 results for decision process comic strips. Discover the best "Decision Process" comics from Dilbert.com.

Have To Promote Wally

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Have To Promote Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bad decision, #mentor, #mentoring, #promotions, #protege, #promote, #vice presdient, #good news

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Catbert: I have to promote you to vice president because our CEO has been mentoring you. Otherwise, it would seem as if he is either bad at mentoring or bad at picking people to mentor. Alice: Now what? Wally: Would you like to hear some good news that won't make you happy?

Dilbert Invents Tube Clothes

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Dilbert Invents Tube Clothes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #clothing, #decision, #decision-making, #inventions, #success, #thinking, #tube clothes, #eliminate decisions, #mark zuckerberg, #gray t-short, #success secrets

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Dilbert: I call my invention "tube clothes." The idea is to eliminate as many daily decisions as possible, the way Mark Zuckerberg does with his gray t-shirt. I like to understand what makes people successful. Dogbert: And you narrowed it down to his shirt?

Leadership

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Leadership - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #leadership, #Opinion, #leader, #perception, #idiot leader, #decision

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Boss: I need your opinion before I make a decision. Dilbert: Studies show that if you ask for my opinion, I will no longer perceive you as a leader. Boss: And if I do not ask for your opinion? Dilbert: I would perceive you as an idiot and a leader.

Engineering

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Engineering - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #hiring, #negativity, #personality tests, #resumes, #special algorithms, #personality, #stupidity, #engineering, #psychology

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Catbert: No one looks at resumes anymore. Now we use special algorithms to see where your personality fits in our culture. Man: That process sounds like a steaming pile of stupidity that will beat itself to death in a few years. Catbert: I'll start you in engineering. You'll fit right in.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #consumes resources, #cruelty, #gentle with crticism, #software, #soils itself, #technology, #tradition, #useless blob, #engineering

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Coworker: Tradition requires you to disparage every technology decision made before you got involved. But please be gentle with your criticism of my software. It's like my baby. Dilbert: If you mean your software is a useless blob that consumes resources and soils itself, we are in agreement.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #magic, #thinking, #incomplete data, #intuition and epxerince, #make decision, #magical thinking, #fixes ignorance

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Boss: We have incomplete data, so I'll need to use my intuition and experience to make the decision. Dilbert: Because magical thinking fixes ignorance? Boss: Hush! I think I have something. Dilbert: I think so, too.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #discrimination, #gays, #laws, #india, #crime, #born gay, #intern, #officially gay, #gay stuff to do

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Dogbert: The Supreme Court of India recently voted to uphold a law making it a crime to be born gay.* To commemorate that hopelessly ignorant decision, Asok the intern is now officially gay. Okay, we're done here. Asok: Good, because I have a lot of gay stuff to do. *essentially

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #choosing, #committees, #frustration, #agreement with plan

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The Noncommittal Committee Dilbert: Does everyone agree with the plan? Woman 1: It depends. Man 1: Ask me later. Man 2: Eh. Woman 2: I'll think about it. Dilbert: Make a decision!!! Voice: Is this your first day?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #discussion, #meetings, #drink coffee, #decisons, #wise

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Boss: Let's drink coffee together while I say wise things about business. Wally: Nothing would make us happier. Dilbert: Whataya got? Boss: The only reason to have meetings is to make decisions. Wally: That sounded very wise. Dilbert: Totally. Boss: I know. I"m kind of proud of that one. Wally: So what happens when you get in a meeting and realize you don't have all of the information you need to make a decision? Boss: This works better if you two don't talk.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #honesty, #corporate culture, #micromanaging, #higgs - boson, #taboo, #new culture

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Boss: I'm looking for ideas on how we can improve our corporate culture. Alice: You could start by being less of a micromanaging d-bag who hides like a Higgs-boson whenever we need a decision. Boss: That didn't help. Alice: Will honesty still be taboo in the new culture?