Defend Against Lawsuits Comic Strips - Page 6

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View 51 - 60 results for defend against lawsuits comic strips. Discover the best "Defend Against Lawsuits" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 2005's comic on:


Tags #sourpuss, #wast of time, #drum, #half full

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Sourpuss "Whatever you're doing there looks like a complete waste of time." "If you beat your head against the wall, that doesn't make it a drum." "People say the glass is half full. But they don't say of what."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 2005's comic on:


Tags #ex employee, #named ted, #company policy, #weather, #moving lazily

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"Hi. I'm calling to check the references of your ex-employee named Ted." "We have a company policy against giving references. But I'd be happy to discuss the weather with you." "Okay." "The clouds are moving lazily across the sky, and everyone thinks they're stupid."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 06, 2005's comic on:


Tags #evil director, #campiagn, #employee happiness, #forbidden fruit, #no dating emplyees, #date each other

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources AS part of my ongoing campaign against employee happiness.." "Employees are not allowed to date each other." "Now you're forbidden fruit...yummmy." "Stay back, rule-breaker."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 2005's comic on:


Tags #date co owrker, #anything has pulse, #bed judgement, #restraining orders

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"Should I date a coworker?" "You should date anything that has a pulse, bad judgement and no restraining orders against you." "But she has to be hot." "Settle for "still warm.""

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 24, 2005's comic on:


Tags #software integration, #coworkers, #misundertsanding, #abuse, #insisting on defense, #what i think, #halluciante

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Tina: "How can you think that the software integration project is a waste of time??!" Dilbert: "I don't.' "But if history is my guide, you will abuse the next hour of my life by insisting that I defend your misunderstanding of what I think." Tina: "So why do you think it's a wast eof time?" Dilbert: "Do you mind if I work while yo uhallucinate?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 2004's comic on:


Tags #defend against lawsuits, #records retention policy

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The Boss: "To defend lawsuits, our records retention policy has been updated to include this..." Bam! The Boss: "What was I talking about?" Wally: "The records retention policy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 2003's comic on:


Tags #retired, #do anything, #all day long, #banging head, #earn money, #social infrastructure, #warm, #tingly, #sensation, #guilty

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Dogbert: "It's nice to be retired. I'll do a-a-anything I want to do all day long." "I guess you'll be banging your head against a wall today, trying to earn money for the social infrastructure." Dilbert: "Do you ever feel guilty?" Dogbert: "Is it a warm, tingly sensation that makes you wag?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 09, 2003's comic on:


Tags #management retreat, #hawaii, #how many employees, #down size, #pay of trip, #against helicopter ride

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The boss: "The management retreat in Hawaii was productive." "We calculated how many employees we needed to downsize to pay for the trip." Ted: "Don't blame me, Ted. I voted against the third helicopter ride."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 2003's comic on:


Tags #scale back, #new brochure, #diplomatic immunity, #current, #future felonies, #poetic licence, #motor oil, #root beer

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The Boss and Dilbert are looking at the new product brochure. Dilbert says, "We might want to scale back some of the claims in our new brochure." The Boss asks, "Which ones?" Dilbert responds, "For example, where it says, 'provides diplomatic immunity against all current and future felonies.'" The Boss says, "That's just poetic license." Dilbert reads, "Turn used motor oil into root beer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 13, 2003's comic on:


Tags #hard day, #meeting with ceo, #billion dollar comapny, #free stock, #cash fow, #revenue, #disaster events, #tragic evenets, #slpping, #fear induced meeting

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Dilbert: Im taking my business case too some venture capitalists. Im hoping that their wisdom and resources will make it a billion dollar company. Dilbert: Would you like some free stock? Dogbert: BAH! Dilbert: What would I do without the support of my loved one? CEO: What would the cash flow look like if.... ....Revenue was zero, microsoft and IBM entered the market , your factory burned down and a piano fell on your head? And what about civil unrest, lawsuits, natural disasters and locusts? Dilbert: ...Then the little one slapped me. Dogbert: Now RE_E_EL them in.