Delivery Man Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Delivery Man

View 51 - 60 results for delivery man comic strips. Discover the best "Delivery Man" comics from Dilbert.com.

Everyone Is Their Own Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Everyone Is Their Own Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #decision, #employees, #company

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: At my company, every employee is their own boss. Dilbert: How do you make decisions? Man: Can I get back to you when we make one? It's only been two years.

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #career, #employees, #office, #office workers, #training, #trick, #sabatoge

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally will train you for your new job. You'll need to figure out how much of what he says is real training and how much is career sabotage. Man: Career sabotage? Boss: Employees don't like competition. Only the top 20% get bonuses. They'll do what they can to keep you out of that group. Man: I assume you're exaggerating. Boss: You'll see. Wally: Has anyone told you about no-pants Fridays?

Ai Can Control Minds

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ai Can Control Minds - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #control, #intelligence, #office workers, #robot, #technology, #humans

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: We've developed an A.I. with such strong persuasion skills it can control human minds. Dilbert: Obviously, we have to stop the project and destroy all of the code to prevent it from spreading. Man: The A.I. says I need to ignore you.

Tons Of Experience

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tons Of Experience - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #employment, #interviews, #lying, #managers & supervisors, #experience

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We only hire people who have experience. Man: How can I get experience if no one wants to hire inexperienced people? Boss: We do hire liars. Man: Oh, good. I have tons of experience.

Training By Osmosis

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Training By Osmosis - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #formal, #training, #job, #absorb, #osmosis, #idiot, #rest, #staff

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: We don't have formal training for your job. Just hang around and see if you can absorb it through osmosis. Man: I'm an idiot for taking this job. The Boss: You're already thinking like the rest of the staff!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #customer, #meeting, #engineers, #years, #disasters, #worry, #data, #centers, #blockchain

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Can I go with you to the customer meeting? I'm worried you might promise something we can't deliver. The Boss: Don't be ridiculous! I've been having customer meetings without engineers for years. Dilbert: I know and they all turn into disasters. The Boss: You worry too much! Everything will be fine! Man: Can you replace our data centers with blockchain? The Boss: Give us two days.

Catbert Personality Test

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Catbert Personality Test - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #applicants, #personality, #test, #reliable, #Astrology, #reliability

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: All job applicants must take the Catbert personality test to see how well they will fit into our culture. Studies show the test is twice as reliable as using astrology alone. Man: Astrology has zero reliability. Catbert: You're not a good fit.

Anticipate Problems

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Anticipate Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Wally, #anticipate, #finishing, #friday, #punctual, #anticipating, #things, #problems

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Do you anticipate any problems finishing by Friday? Wally: I do not. Man: Is that because you're punctual or because you aren't good at anticipating things? Wally: I don't foresee any unforeseen problems. Man: Okay. Wait...

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #man, #criticizing, #face, #head, #arrogance, #toxic, #personality, #garbage, #plague, #legs, #truth, #power, #behind, #back

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I heard you were criticizing me behind my back. Try saying those things to my face! Dilbert: Okay. You're a hot-headed know-nothing who uses his arrogance to mask his total lack of talent. You ruin every meeting with your toxic personality. Every project you touch turns to garbage you're like a plague with legs. Man: Okay... That was harsh, but I respect you for speaking truth to power. Dilbert: You don't have any power. Man: Maybe it's better if you talk behind my back.

Work Is Dehumanizing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Work Is Dehumanizing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #man, #workplace, #dehumanizing, #Environment, #dignity, #name

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: This workplace is dehumanizing! I can no longer work in this environment! I refuse to allow any more assaults on my dignity. I quit! The Boss: And your name is...?