Didn't Ask Comic Strips - Page 6

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966 Results for Didn't Ask

View 51 - 60 results for didn't ask comic strips. Discover the best "Didn't Ask" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dogbert Designed The Simulation

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Dogbert Designed The Simulation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #simulation, #creator, #three dimensional, #avatar, #truth, #made

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dogbert: i didn't want to tell you this, but you're a simulation designed by a three-dimensional creator. and i'm an avatar used by your creator to interact with your world. dilbert: i refuse to believe that is true dogbert: yep. that's how i made you

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Garbage Man Breaks Fourth Wall

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Garbage Man Breaks Fourth Wall - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #psychology, #reality, #parody, #broken, #business, #garbage, #Comic, #indistinguishable

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dilbert: reality has become so absurd that it is indistinguishable from parody. how can we fix that? garbage man: there is nothing to fix. reality has always been the same as parody. you just didn't notice until now. dilbert: you're joking, right? garbage man: check out this comic strip called "dilbert"

Spelling Crypto Wrong

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Spelling Crypto Wrong - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argument, #boss, #frustrated, #learning, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #spelling, #words

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Dilbert: You spelled "crypto" wrong. Boss: No, I didn't. Dilbert: You spelled it "c-r-i-p-t-o". Boss: So? Dilbert: There is no "I" in crypto. Boss: That's how I learned to spell it. Dilbert: You learned it wrong. No one else spells it that way. Boss: Now you're criticizing me for being an inovator? Dilbert: It's not innovation! It's a mistake! Why can't you admit you are wrong?! Boss: Why can't you?

Company Pays Men More Than Women

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Company Pays Men More Than Women - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business ethics, #managers & supervisors, #men and women, #money, #relations between the sexes, #sex & gender, #salary

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Boss: It has come to my attention that our company pays men more than women. I have been asked to correct that situation. Dilbert: You're going to cut the pay of the men, right? Boss: No, no, no. I'm only going to ask you to identify as a woman.

Wally Has Higher Income

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Wally Has Higher Income - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lying, #managers & supervisors, #money, #office workers, #bribe, #salary

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Wally: Now that I'm the boss's new pet employee, my income is higher than ever. Dilbert: I didn't realize it came with a raise. Wally: It's more of an indirect thing. Man: I'll give you $100 to tell the boss good things about me. Wally: My price for lying is $200.

Bad Hair Day

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Bad Hair Day - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #angry, #boss, #employees, #employment, #hair, #hairstyles, #meetings, #threat, #warning

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Boss: Alice, why aren't you at this meeting? Alice: I'm having a bad hair day. Boss: That's no reason to miss a meeting! Alice: You don't understand. It's really, really bad. Boss: Come to the meeting right now, or you're fired! Gurk! Dilbert: That's bad hair. Alice: Can't say I didn't warn him.

Centers Of Excellence

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Centers Of Excellence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lie, #managers & supervisors, #office, #excellence

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the boss: make a slide deck that says our "centers of excellence" are creating more excellence. dilbert: do we have any data to support that claim? the boss: no. dilbert: you want me to lie? the boss: is that suddenly too much to ask.

Drooling Incompetents

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Drooling Incompetents - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #competent, #incompetent

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wally at team meeting. wally: i've been asked to lead this project toward failure so my boss can convince our ceo to cancel it. wally: i'd like all of the competent people on the team to step aside, while the drooling incompetents who remain drive it into a ditch. office worker: how can we know who among us are the competent ones? wally: well, for starters, they don't ask that question.

Encouraging Smoking

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Encouraging Smoking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #meeting, #office, #office workers, #smoking, #turnover, #breaks

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dibert, the boss and ask at conference table. the boss: our plan for reducing turnover is to encourage smoking. the boss: that way, everyone gets a relaxing smoke break several times per day. dilbert: or non-smokers could take breaks. the boss: now i wish you had been in the meeting when we planned this.

How To Reduce Turnover

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How To Reduce Turnover - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #success, #turnover, #pay

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the boss: i'm looking for ideas on how to reduce turnover. dilbert: maybe you could increase our pay and stop thwarting our chances for success at every turn. the boss: i'll ask someone else.