Dogbert Gets Loan Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Dogbert Gets Loan

View 51 - 60 results for dogbert gets loan comic strips. Discover the best "Dogbert Gets Loan" comics from Dilbert.com.

Flag Me When You Are Done

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Flag Me When You Are Done - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office work, #flag, #burden, #rude, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i find it a burden to listen to you. maybe you could wave this flag to signal when you are done talking just in case i want to say something. dilbert: you are very rude. dogbert: flag me when you are done with whatever this is.

Dilbert Gets A Mentor

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Gets A Mentor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #Advice, #mentor, #productivity, #operations, #vice president, #pressure, #trick

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i heard you asked our v.p. of operations to be your mentor. why didn't you tell me you needed some mentoring? i'm full of useful advice. dilbert: such as? boss: well... not you're putting me on the spot. it's hard to think of advice while you're pressuring me. maybe you could give me a scenario, and then i'll tell you what to do. dilbert: okay, suppose my boss is ruining my productivity by yammering about his great advice. what can i do? boss: that feels like a trick question. dilbert: our v.p. of operations could answer it.

Dark Matter Identified

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dark Matter Identified - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #philosophy, #stupidity, #dark, #matter, #universe, #abundant, #obvious

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: they say 85% of the matter in the universe is dark matter, and we don't even know what that is. dogbert: well, if it's the most abundant thing in the universe, it has to be made of stupidity. dilbert: why wasn't that obvious to me? dogbert: because you're 85% dark matter

Dogbert's Sensitivity Training

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert's Sensitivity Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #class, #training, #sensitivity, #offend, #kill, #hour

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: welcome to dogcart's sensitivity training dogbert passing out papers: today you will learn how to never offend anyone ever again class including dilbert: are you going to kill us? dogbert: no, no, no. after an hour of this class, you'll want to do it yourself.

Dogbert Designed The Simulation

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Designed The Simulation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #simulation, #creator, #three dimensional, #avatar, #truth, #made

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i didn't want to tell you this, but you're a simulation designed by a three-dimensional creator. and i'm an avatar used by your creator to interact with your world. dilbert: i refuse to believe that is true dogbert: yep. that's how i made you

Comic Like Dilbert

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Comic Like Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Entertainment, #Comic, #simulation, #life, #superior, #being

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i'm freaking out because i just learned there's a comic strip called "dilbert" that is exactly like my life. and look - this is exactly what i did today. it's as if i'm a simulation created by a superior being. dogbert: uh-oh, he's on-to me.

Parody Inversion Point

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Parody Inversion Point - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #government, #sarcasm, #parody, #business, #inversion, #reality, #absurd

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: according to my algorithm, we are heading toward a parody inversion point. that happens when reality becomes so absurd that it is indistinguishable from parody. dogbert: maybe the government can fix that dilbert alarmed: gaaa! i can't tell if you're serious!

Try Hiding

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Try Hiding - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #boss, #compliment, #criticism, #ego, #employees, #managers & supervisors

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: If you compliment your employees, they will get big heads and think they are underpaid. But if you criticize them, they will be unhappy and quit. Boss: What should I do instead of those things? Dogbert: Have you tried hiding?

Dilbert Gets His Head Fixed

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Gets His Head Fixed  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #confused, #employees, #frustration, #garbage, #help, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Garbage Man: Looks like you've been beating your head against a wall in frustration. Stick your head in this garbage can to fix it. Dilbert: Why is this working? Garbage Man: Why wouldn't it?

Technically Dilbert Is Male

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Technically Dilbert Is Male - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business ethics, #gender, #managers & supervisors, #men and women, #office workers, #salary

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Technically, I'm male. But my boss makes me identify as a woman so it looks as if he pays men and women the same. Dogbert: You let your boss choose your gender? Dilbert: Don't make it sound weird.