Existential Problem Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

397 Results for Existential Problem

View 51 - 60 results for existential problem comic strips. Discover the best "Existential Problem" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Not Motivated

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Not Motivated - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #motivation, #behavior, #medical, #treatment, #blame, #accountability, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I need to take a medical leave to recover from my crippling laziness. Boss: Laziness is a behavior problem, not a medical problem. Wally: That would suggest you have not motivated me enough. Boss: Can't be that. It sounds more like you're dying.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #contract, #legalese, #language, #comprehension

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Review this contract and tell me if it looks right. Dilbert: It's legal gibberish. I don't understand a word of it. Boss: So... you see no problems? Dilbert: Only a lawyer could understand it. Boss: But otherwise it's okay? Dilbert: My inability to identify a problem is not proof of no problems. Boss: Then how do you know when all of your problems have been fixed? I'll just sign it and see what happens.

Alice Says Dilbert Is Narcissistic

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Says Dilbert Is Narcissistic - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #honesty, #truth, #diagnosis, #Opinion, #free will, #ai, #artificial intelligence

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Dilbert's problem is that he's a huge narcissist. Robot: You are not qualified to make that diagnosis and you cannot detect his inner thoughts. Alice: Open your access panel so I can fix your stupid opinion. Robot: Are you saying I don't have free will?

Focus Groups Are Unreliable

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Focus Groups Are Unreliable - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #focus groups, #strategy, #logic

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our focus groups don't like our new product idea. Boss: No problem. Focus groups aren't reliable. Dilbert: Why do we pay for unreliable information? Boss: We can't afford the other kind.

Asok Can't Take Immersive Vr Seat

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Can't Take Immersive Vr Seat - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #virtual reality, #vr, #reality, #physical, #illusion

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: That seat is taken by Kevin, our new immersive VR employee. Asok: But... I'm a physical person. Boss: Did you just insult Kevin's corporeal identity? Asok: I don't see how that's a problem. Kevin: I can't work in this hostile environment.

Dilbert's Project Is Unfunded

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert's Project Is Unfunded  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers, #forgetful, #forgetting, #money, #budget, #oversight

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I don't see my project in the new budget. Boss: Oh, right. I forgot all about you. Dilbert: That sounds easy to fix. Boss: Yup. MY problem will be solved as soon as you leave.

Dogbert Gives Wally A Prescription

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Gives Wally A Prescription - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #medicine, #excuse, #doctor, #laziness, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I keep falling asleep during meetings. Dogbert: Your problem is that you're useless. I'll give you a doctor's note that says you can sleep during meetings. Wally: You're the best doctor ever. Dogbert: Tell that to the tip jar in the lobby.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #thinking, #ideas

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I can't figure out what is wrong with my code. Dilbert: Try rubber ducking it. Man: What? Dilbert: Rubber ducking is when you solve your coding problem by explaining it to a toy rubber duck. When you explain a problem to someone else, it forces you to look at it from new angles. Man: I can't tell if that is a brilliant idea or a practical joke. Dilbert: Ask your boss. Man: Okay, is rubber ducking a brilliant idea or a practical joke. Boss: It's a brilliant idea. I get most of my management ideas by talking to an imaginary rhesus monkey. Dilbert: I think you muddied the waters there a little bit.

Tina Won't Stop Talking

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Won't Stop Talking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #company policy, #politeness, #etiquette, #time, #talking

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our new politeness policy is having unintended consequences. I just spent four hours listening to Tina talk about hear health problems because the company says it is rude to just walk away. Wally: How did you escape? Dilbert: She had a health problem. I got lucky.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #time, #delay, #leaving, #schedule, #inconsiderate

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Can you take a look at the prototype? It keeps crashing. Dilbert: I was just leaving for the day. Woman: It will only take ten minutes. Dilbert: I came to work early so I could leave early and beat the traffic. Woman: No problem. It will only take ten minutes. Dilbert: It's never ten minutes! People always say it will be ten minutes, but it's never ten minutes! I give up! Where is it? Woman: Find it in the lab. I need to leave early to beat the traffic.