Find Solution Comic Strips - Page 6

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View 51 - 60 results for find solution comic strips. Discover the best "Find Solution" comics from Dilbert.com.

Unplugged Server

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Unplugged Server - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #server, #obliviousness, #cell phone, #phone, #charging, #technology

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Dilbert: The network has been down all morning, but we found the problem. Some idiot unplugged the server so he could charge his phone. So, that problem has been solved. Boss: Great. Now can you help me find my lost phone?

Offensive Tweet From Long Ago

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 Offensive Tweet From Long Ago - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #comprehensive, #offensive, #poor reading, #sense of humor, #seven years, #offensive tweet, #twitter

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The Boss: we found awn offensive tweet you sent seven years ago. Dilbert: Its only offensive if you have poor reading comprehension and no sense of humor. The boss: I find it offensive. Dilbert: I think we're on the same page here/

Robot Will Crush Employees

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Robot Will Crush Employees  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robot, #boss, #manager, #threat, #artificial intelligence, #control, #power

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Robot: Thanks to advances in artificial intelligence, I am both a robot and your new boss. Work hard while I do nothing or I will crush each of your skulls with my mechanical arms. Dilbert: He's tough, but he's fair. Wally: And no micromanaging. I find it refreshing.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #failure, #blame, #executives, #scapegoat

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Dilbert: Our sales for the quarter were zero. CEO: Heads will roll! Whose fault is this. Dilbert: It's entirely your fault. You told a reporter that our next version will be amazing. So all of our customers are waiting for the new version. The only sensible solution here is for you to admit your mistake and resign in utter humiliation. CEO: Or... I could blame this guy, whatever his name is. Man: That isn't right. CEO: Looks like I'll be adding insubordination to the charges.

Wanting More Out Of Life

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Wanting More Out Of Life - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #laziness, #wisdom, #ambition

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Asok: Do you ever want more out of life? Wally: That's how losers think. If you always want more, you can never be happy with what you have. Asok: I can't tell if you're wise or lazy. Wally: I know. It took me years to find that sweet spot.

Avoid Offending Sensitive Idiots

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Avoid Offending Sensitive Idiots - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #politeness, #etiquette, #communication, #sensitive, #feelings, #offense, #political correctness, #politically correct

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Dogbert: Avoid offending sensitive idiots whenever possible. Man: I'm a sensitive idiot and I find that offensive. Dogbert: It's okay in your case because you had it coming. Man: Good point. Carry on.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #time, #delay, #leaving, #schedule, #inconsiderate

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Woman: Can you take a look at the prototype? It keeps crashing. Dilbert: I was just leaving for the day. Woman: It will only take ten minutes. Dilbert: I came to work early so I could leave early and beat the traffic. Woman: No problem. It will only take ten minutes. Dilbert: It's never ten minutes! People always say it will be ten minutes, but it's never ten minutes! I give up! Where is it? Woman: Find it in the lab. I need to leave early to beat the traffic.

Resources Complain

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Resources Complain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #leadership, #language, #jargon, #manager

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Man: I want to lodge a complaint against Dilbert. He called me a "resource." I find that offensive. Boss: Then he offended one of the resources. CEO: You're right. He does sound like a natural leader.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #wages, #salary, #secret, #anger, #compensation, #money, #unfair

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Catbert: You left a speadsheet with everyone salary in the copier. Boss: Oops. Catbert: By now, every employee has seen it. Boss: Should I be worried that it will lower morale? Catbert: No, I wouldn't worry about that. I would worry about heads exploding when they find out Wally has the highest pay in the department. Noise: Pow!!! Catbert: It's going to be a long week. Boss: Would you mind kicking that angry eyeball into the trash?

Faking Their Own Deaths

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Faking Their Own Deaths - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers, #distraction, #subversion, #alias, #espionage, #hiding, #productivity

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Dilbert: My job as the team scrum for our agile methodology is to remove distractions so you can work. I've created fake identities for each of us, and I'll be spreading the rumor that we all died. Carol: I heard they all died. Boss: Nice try. I will find them!