Forgot Watch Comic Strips - Page 6
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Dilbert: Do you ever have anxiety because you feel like you're supposed to be in a meeting that you forgot? Alice: You should see a doctor about that. Dilbert: I already made... uh-oh. Alice: Was the appointment for today? Dilbert: An hour ago.
CEO: Character is how you act when no one is watching. Wally: Now you tell us? I thought you were my role model! Now I learn that you do all of your good stuff when no one is looking. It all makes sense now, because whenever I watch you do anything, it looks sort of dumb. But I'll take your word for it that you're awesome when no one is looking. Do you want to know what I do when no one is looking? CEO: I really, really do not. Wally: I call it character!
Dilbert: The long hours of work are taking a toll on my body. Can I take some time off for my health? Boss; That would defeat the whole point of being an employee. You are supposed to be trading your health and happiness for money. Then you give that money to your family and watch them spend it while you eat yourself to death. It's a circle of life sort of thing. Dilbert: I'm not married. Boss: Loser.
Tina: I broke up with my boyfriend because we went double-digital. I got used to sharing time with his phone, bu the hasn't made eye contact since he unboxed his Apple watch. Dilbert: Ooh. Weather. Tina: Did you hear anything I just said?
Boss: Our health app accurately predicts the user's time of death and sends a five-minute warning. Our business model is paid advertising that we disguise as "death alerts." CEO: How's the click-through rate? Boss: Surprisingly low. It's hard to get people's attention these days.
Boss: The health sensors and predictive algorithms you built into our smart watch are too good. People are freaked out because it sends alerts to their phones when they have five minutes left to live. Dilbert: Isn't that useful? Boss: It was, until we started sending paid ads as alerts.
Dilbert: This is not the deal we agreed on. Man: I forgot a few things on the first estimate, but you need them. Dilbert: I only picked you because you had the lowest price. Man: Yes, but not the vendor selection is done and it would be too much trouble for you to start over. It might even damage your career because you delayed the project. You could go to the second-highest bidder, but those guys would do the same thing to you. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! I have no choice! This is blackmail, not commerce! Man: We call it "sales." I'll need all the cash in your wallet, too.