Hands To Boss Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Hands To Boss

View 51 - 60 results for hands to boss comic strips. Discover the best "Hands To Boss" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Surgery

Thank you for voting.
Boss Surgery - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 11, 2019's comic on:

Tags #boss, #brain, #employees, #insults, #surgery

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: There's a new surgery that can turn employees into bosses. Boss: How can surgery turn an employee into a boss? Dr: You won't be needing this.

Ai That Creates Comics

Thank you for voting.
Ai That Creates Comics - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 2019's comic on:

Tags #Comic Strip, #inventions, #sarcasm, #technology, #creativity

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I invented an A.I. that can create comic strips. Boss: Pffft! That's impossible. No machine will ever match the creative genius of human cartoonists. Dilbert: This one is about a guy who thinks his boss is dumb. Boss: No one wants to read that.

Below Average

Thank you for voting.
Below Average - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 2019's comic on:

Tags #boss, #engineering, #jobs, #math, #sarcasm, #review

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Your job performance is below average. Dilbert: How did you calculate an average for a job that no one else has ever performed? Boss: Math?

Boss Needs Copies

Thank you for voting.
Boss Needs Copies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 08, 2019's comic on:

Tags #boss, #frustrated, #irritation, #office, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need three copies of this. Carol: You just literally walked past the copier. Boss: Sheesh! Forget it! Just shred the stupid document. Carol: The shredder is right behind you.

Layoff Package

Thank you for voting.
Layoff Package - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 2019's comic on:

Tags #business, #fire, #office, #office workers, #buyout

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert, the boss and wally at conference room table. the boss: the company is announcing generous buyout packages for employees who elect to leave. dilbert: won't all the smart people leave first because they can easily get new jobs at higher pay? the boss: ummm... dilbert: if you don't get enough volunteers, will you start firing people? the boss: we have no plan to do that. dilbert: will you make a plan if too few people leave? the boss: oh, yes. dilbert: would it be fair to say the people who stay will envy the dead? the boss: um... one week later: the boss: how many took the offer? carol: it's just you now.

Dilbert Characters

Wally Uses Speakerphonetif

Thank you for voting.
Wally Uses Speakerphonetif - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 2019's comic on:

Tags #cell phone, #office, #office workers, #speaker phone, #voice-texting, #click

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i asked you to stop using your speaker-phone because it was disturbing your co-workers. the boss: now they tell me you started doing voice-texting, which is even worse. wally: okay fine. later that day. alice visually upset and yelling: turn off your keyboard click sound! wally's cell phone: click click click.

Leaders Have Differen Memories

Thank you for voting.
Leaders Have Differen Memories - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 2019's comic on:

Tags #business, #meeting, #office, #stupid, #leadership

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: we had a leadership meeting to decide how to move forward. the boss: but all the leaders left the meeting with wildly different ideas about what we agreed on. carol: how do you leaders plan to solve that? the boss: phase one involves accusing each other of being stupid.

Centers Of Excellence

Thank you for voting.
Centers Of Excellence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 2019's comic on:

Tags #lie, #managers & supervisors, #office, #excellence

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: make a slide deck that says our "centers of excellence" are creating more excellence. dilbert: do we have any data to support that claim? the boss: no. dilbert: you want me to lie? the boss: is that suddenly too much to ask.

Measuring Excellence

Thank you for voting.
Measuring Excellence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 2019's comic on:

Tags #business, #office, #excellence

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert, the boss and wally at conference room table. the boss: we opened our first "center of excellence" today. the boss: at the risk of sounding too optimistic, we should be brimming with excellence by nightfall. dilbert: how will we know if is working? the boss: it's better if we don't try too hard to measure it.

Why Not A Center Of Excellence

Thank you for voting.
Why Not A Center Of Excellence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 02, 2019's comic on:

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office, #excellence

View Transcript

Transcript

ceo: maybe we should creat a "center of excellence." the boss: what exactly does that mean? ceo: i think it means whatever we want it to mean. the boss: then what good is it? ceo: let's not get lost in the weeds.