Health Decline Comic Strips - Page 6

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169 Results for Health Decline

View 51 - 60 results for health decline comic strips. Discover the best "Health Decline" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 09, 2015's comic on:


Tags #employee, #Advice, #health, #wellness, #money, #cost, #work ethic, #fatigue, #Family, #marriage, #support, #insult, #relationships

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Dilbert: The long hours of work are taking a toll on my body. Can I take some time off for my health? Boss; That would defeat the whole point of being an employee. You are supposed to be trading your health and happiness for money. Then you give that money to your family and watch them spend it while you eat yourself to death. It's a circle of life sort of thing. Dilbert: I'm not married. Boss: Loser.

Click Rate On Death Alerts

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Click Rate On Death Alerts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 2015's comic on:


Tags #advertising, #technology, #analytics, #smart watch, #app, #ad, #click, #clickbait, #attention, #distraction

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Boss: Our health app accurately predicts the user's time of death and sends a five-minute warning. Our business model is paid advertising that we disguise as "death alerts." CEO: How's the click-through rate? Boss: Surprisingly low. It's hard to get people's attention these days.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 2015's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #dying, #death, #health, #health tracker, #heart rate monitor, #ads, #scare, #fitbit, #smart watch, #medical

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Boss: The health sensors and predictive algorithms you built into our smart watch are too good. People are freaked out because it sends alerts to their phones when they have five minutes left to live. Dilbert: Isn't that useful? Boss: It was, until we started sending paid ads as alerts.

Health Sensor Predictes Death

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Health Sensor Predictes Death - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 2015's comic on:


Tags #invention, #success, #technology, #health monitor, #fitbit, #smart watch, #heart, #heart rate, #death, #medical

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Ted: The health sensors you built into our smart watch prototype aren't working. According to your stupid sensors, my heart is going to stop beating in... Dilbert: Yay me!

Don't Want To Set A Precedent

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Don't Want To Set A Precedent - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 06, 2015's comic on:


Tags #overwork, #work ethic, #exhaustion

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Dilbert: Do you mind if I only work sixty hours this week? I need some rest. Boss: I don't want to set a precedent that your health matters. That's a slippery slope. Dilbert: I might die from sleep deprivation. Boss: Don't ask me to validate your selfishness.

Boss Gets Standing Desk

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Boss Gets Standing Desk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 2015's comic on:


Tags #fads, #desk, #standing, #health, #fitness, #office furniture, #trends

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Carol: The "standing desk" you ordered is here. I scheduled a mover to get rid of it tomorrow. Boss: Legs... so... tired. Carol: Don't slip on his tears.

Dilbert And Alice Add Features

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Dilbert And Alice Add Features - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 2015's comic on:


Tags #inventions, #simplicity, #engineers, #complication, #complicated, #coffee, #mug, #overthinking

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Wally: Our boss asked me to totally ruin my double-handled coffee mug invention by adding features. I am asking each of you to suppress your engineering impulses just this one time and let this perfect product stay perfect. Dilbert: It would be perfect if it had wi-fi and a projection keyboard. Alice: Maybe add some health sensors and GPS.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 2015's comic on:


Tags #weight, #dieting, #willpower, #denial, #circular logic, #eating, #health, #happiness, #weight loss, #obesity, #psychology, #medical

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Dilbert: I invented a device that can help people lose weight. Boss: I wouldn't need that because I have willpower. Dilbert: Then why are you overweight? Boss: This is temporary. Dilbert: You've looked exactly the same for years. Boss: I can lose this weight any time I want. Dilbert: So... are you saying you choose to be less healthy than you could be? Boss: I'm saying I'd rather be happy than healthy. Dilbert: Are you happy? Boss: No, because I'm hungry. Dilbert: And eating will make you happy? Boss: Well, I usually eat until I'm sick.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 2014's comic on:


Tags #arguing, #email, #expectations, #logic, #sleep, #winning, #work ethic, #promptly respond, #employees, #necessary, #brain function, #succumbs to leadership, #dysfunctional moron, #confsuion, #win converstions, #ceo, #health, #business

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CEO: You didn't promptly respond to my email last night. Dilbert: You sent that email at 1 a.m. CEO: I expect my employees to be checking email at all times. Dilbert: Sleep is necessary for normal brain function. Anyone who succumbs to your leadership on this topic will turn into a dysfunctional moron in 48 hours. CEO: I don't see where you're going with this. It's all so confusing to my brain. So tired... can't stay awake... Dilbert: I don't usually win conversations this decisively.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 06, 2014's comic on:


Tags #joking, #laughter, #medicine, #neck pain, #sleep, #sound wise, #slept wrong, #employee, #employer, #health

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Boss: My neck is killing me. I must have slept wrong. Dilbert: Ha ha ha! You can't even sleep right! I'm doing you a favor because laughter is the best medicine. Hee hee! Boss: Why does that no longer sound wise?!!