Health Insurance Comic Strips - Page 6
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224 Results for Health Insurance
View 51 - 60 results for health insurance comic strips. Discover the best "Health Insurance" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday May 25,
2018
Bossercize
Tags exercise, personal trainer, fitness, bossercise, criticism, managers, health
Transcript
Narrator: Dogbert The Personal Trainer. Dogbert: I invented a fitness routine I call Bossercise. It mostly involves strutting around the office and criticizing people. Boss: You incompetent fool! Dogbert: Give me twenty more reps.
Sunday May 06,
2018
Tags insurance, humiliation, death, scam, darwin awards, spin, headline, media, Entertainment, medical
Transcript
Dogbert: Would you like to buy an insurance policy to protect against a humorous death? Boss: Why would I need it? Dogbert: well, let's say you're at the zoo and you drop your sunglasses into the lion pit. You lower yourself into the pit to get the sunglasses, but the lions get to you first. You don't want the headlines to read "Pointy-haired Idiot Mauled To Death By The King Of The Jungle." So instead, the moment you die, my agents rush in to create a narrative for the media. In this case, we might spin the story as "Local Man Teaches Zoo How To Reduce Food Costs." Boss: Are the policies affordable? Dogbert: Yes, if you waive the coverage for mascot-related deaths.
Thursday February 15,
2018
Boss Is Sane
Tags mental health, mental illness, managers, sane, insanity, logic
Transcript
Narrator: Dogbert The Mental Health Expert. Boss: Can you confirm that my employees have lost their minds? Dogbert: Yes, because they work for you. Any other questions? Boss: But I'm sane, right? Dogbert: Yes, because you hired me.
Wednesday February 14,
2018
Pill For Boss Conversations
Tags mental health, mental illness, crazy, managers, sanity, insane
Transcript
Boss: Catbert thinks I'm causing mental problems in my employees. That's crazy, right? Carol: Hold that thought. My doctor prescribed pills for when I have to talk to you.
Monday February 12,
2018
Worried About Dilbert's Mental Health
Tags asoks health, boss worried, brilliant ideas, misunderstand, too dumb, dilbert's mental health, called into question
Transcript
The Boss: Im worried about DIlberts mental health because his ideas are so bad. Asok: How did you rule out the hypothesis that his ideas are brilliant but you're too dumb to understand them? The Boss: Now Im worried about Asok's mental health too.
Friday December 29,
2017
Insurance For Phones
Tags cell phone, technology, insurance, break, screen, cracked
Transcript
Dilbert: The company that insures our mobile phone product is angry because 100 percent of our phones break in the first minute. They say it's a disaster and it is putting them out of business. What should I tell them? Boss: Tell them they should have gotten some sort of insurance.
Sunday November 26,
2017
Tags negotiation, demand, haggle, prices, pricing, negotiate
Transcript
Boss: Negotiate with your vendor and get the price down. Dilbert: I don't know how to negotiate. I'm an engineer. Boss: It's simple. All you need to do is make an aggressive first demand and settle for less. Dilbert: How aggressive are we talking about here? Boss: The more aggressive the better. Dilbert: That doesn't sound right. Boss: Trust me. More is better. Dilbert: My opening demand is that you name me as a beneficiary on your life insurance police, mow my lawn, and die in traffic on the way home. Boss: You got the price down by 35 percent. Dilbert: I really hoped it wouldn't work.
Tuesday November 21,
2017
Wally Is A Maverick
Tags health, standing desks, standing, sitting, laziness
Transcript
Wally: I like to think of myself as a maverick. Let the trendy people brag about their standing desks. I haven't stood in a week. Dilbert: I have some bad news about your health risks. Wally: Should I sit down to hear it?
Monday November 20,
2017
Wally Likes Sitting
Tags laziness, standing desk, health, sitting, standing
Transcript
Boss: The company has authorized the purchase of standing desks for employees who want them. Wally: Literally the only good thing about this job is that I can do it while sitting down. Boss: How did you get to this meeting? Wally: Your chair doesn't have wheels?
Saturday November 18,
2017
Let's Do The Meeting Later
Tags fitbit, health, monitor, wearable tech, surveillance
Transcript
Dilbert: According to your employee health monitor, your lack of sleep last night is hampering your mental functions. Let's end the meeting and try again when your brain is working better. Man: I don't understand. Dilbert: That is consistent with the data.


