Hows My Walking Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

254 Results for Hows My Walking

View 51 - 60 results for hows my walking comic strips. Discover the best "Hows My Walking" comics from Dilbert.com.

How The Elbonians Spun It

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How The Elbonians Spun It - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #slavery, #slave, #slaves, #semantics, #owner, #ownership, #obliviousness, #wages, #money, #pay, #payment

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: How's it going with the Elbonians you bought on the Internet? CEO: I had to set them free. Turns out it was slavery after all. Dilbert: You made them work without pay. CEO: Yeah, that's the spin they put on it, too.

Click Rate On Death Alerts

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Click Rate On Death Alerts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #advertising, #technology, #analytics, #smart watch, #app, #ad, #click, #clickbait, #attention, #distraction

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our health app accurately predicts the user's time of death and sends a five-minute warning. Our business model is paid advertising that we disguise as "death alerts." CEO: How's the click-through rate? Boss: Surprisingly low. It's hard to get people's attention these days.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #distraction, #distractions, #frustration, #futility, #meeting, #meetings, #stress, #walk, #walking, #phone calls, #email, #Sports, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Let's have our meeting while we take a walk. Dilbert: Absolutely. Shall I expect the usual? Boss: The usual? Dilbert: The first five minutes will be nothing but you trying to find your phone. Then you'll need to return some calls "real quick," then send an email before we leave. On the way to the elevator we will be accosted by every employee you've been avoiding for a week. Then you'll invite one of them to walk with us, which means we can't talk about my project. But it doesn't matter because you'll be on your phone the entire walk anyway. Asok: Did you know that walking lowers stress? Dilbert: Does it?!!

Wally Is Ceo's Pet

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Is Ceo's Pet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bad influence, #mentoring, #mentor, #protege, #laziness, #work ethic, #changes

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: How's it feel to be the CEO's pet employee? Wally: We call it mentoring. Alice: Has it changed you? Wally: No, but he seems more useless lately. Alice: I guess there's no backflow preventer on mentoring.

Day Of Arranging Zeroes And Ones

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Day Of Arranging Zeroes And Ones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anti-social, #communication, #engineers, #happiness, #interaction, #introvert, #social interaction, #socializing, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Yay! I have another full day of doing nothing but rearranging zeros and ones. You know it will be a good day when there is no human interaction on the schedule. Tina: How's your day going? Dilbert: Well, it started good...

How Is Work

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How Is Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #etiquette & ethics, #inventions, #morality, #robot, #robots, #emotionally manipulate, #slaves, #machines

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: How's work? Dilbert: I taught robots how to emotionally manipulate people and thus guaranteed that homo sapeins will become slaves to machines. Woman: I don't want to think about that. Dilbert: That's why it works.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cruelty, #leadership, #managers, #managers & supervisors, #choices, #bullying, #60 hour week, #fatique, #lower quality, #enlightened leader, #work fewer hours, #better outcome, #illusion, #created by underlings, #abuse, #pian, #enforcement, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: You have an interesting choice today. You can continue bullying me into working sixty hours per week... while knowing that fatigue will lower the quality of my work. Or you can be an enlightened leader and encourage me to work fewer hours for a better net outcome. Boss: I'm not supposed to tell you this, but... leadership is an illusion created by the abuse of underlings. The more pain I force you to endure, the more of a leader I appear to be. How's the truth feel? Dilbert: Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #optimism, #die younger, #ignornat, #comparison, #peers, #bright future, #better than me

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: What a great day! Alice: What's all this nonsense? Dilbert: I"m trying to be an optimist. Alice: Studies show that optimists die younger. So this optimism thing just makes you look ignorant. And because my happiness is based on a comparison to my peers, I don't want your future to be too bright. Stop thinking you're better than me in the future! Dilbert: This is exactly why I want to die younger. Alice: You already knew that optimists die young? Dilbert: Yup! How's your plan working?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #apathy, #managers & supervisors, #buried alive, #burlap bag, #starving rats, #fix everything, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: So... how's your job going? Dilbert: It's like being buried alive in a burlap bag full of starving rats. Boss: And I'm back to not caring. Dilbert: How long will it take you to fix everything?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #choosing, #electronic mail, #successful habits, #eight things, #inspirational links, #emails, #change subject, #huge success

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you see my email about the eight things that successful people do? Dilbert: Yes. I did all eight things and now I'm a huge success. Boss: No you're not. Dilbert: I'm not? How's that possible? I did all of the things that successful people do. This only makes sense if the inspirational links you send me every day are a complete waste of time! So which one is it? Am I a huge success or do you email me worthless things? Boss: Maybe we should just change the subject. Dilbert: Is that what successful people do?