Life Isn't Fair Comic Strips - Page 6

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798 Results for Life Isn't Fair

View 51 - 60 results for life isn't fair comic strips. Discover the best "Life Isn't Fair" comics from Dilbert.com.

What Winning Feels Like

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What Winning Feels Like - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, office workers, regression, analysis, failure, business, common

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dilbert: i did a regression analysis to find out which variables are common to all of our failures. wally: it's me isn't it? dilbert pointing to boss: no, it's him. wally: is this what winning feels like?

Boss Helps

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Boss Helps - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, project, deadline, interruption, business, new, task, priority

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boss: why isn't your project done yet? dilbert: because every time i walk past your office you give me three new tasks and tell men they are my highest priority. boss: i was hoping you didn't know why. dilbert: hire someone dumber next time.

What If You Are In A Coma

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What If You Are In A Coma - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, cell phone, client, stupid, liar, insult, understand, die, coma

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phone conversation dilbert: if you have any problems with the software, just give me a call. client: what if you die or you're in a coma? dilbert: well, in those cases i would not return your call. client: so you're lying about getting back to me. dilbert: no, i'm making a normal kind of generalization, which i assumed you would understand. client: okay, so now you're calling me stupid, and you're a liar? dilbert: if a liar calls you stupid, wouldn't that mean you are smart? client: fair point dilbert: thanks, i'm proud of it.

Time Travel By Printer

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Time Travel By Printer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, presentation, technolgy, molecular, scan, body, brain, time travel, 3d print, meeting

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dilbert giving a presentation: i invented a device that can scan your body and brain at molecular level. now you can time travel by killing yourself and leaving instructions to 3d-print you back to life in the future when the technology is able. response: where will you find anyone dumb enough to test it? dilbert: have you ever attended a meeting at this company?

Self Reliant

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Self Reliant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, project, teamwork, help, teach, self-reliant

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boss to wally: ted says you wouldn't help him on his project. wally: i was teaching him how to be self-reliant. that's important too, isn't it? not such an easy question, is it?

Work Life Balance

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Work Life Balance - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, interviewee, interview, employer, company, healthy, work, life, balance, victim

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boss: tell me what you are looking for in an employer interviewee in suit: i want a company that appreciates a healthy work-life balance. boss: you have a bit of a victim vibe interviewee: i was hoping that didn't show

Performance Versus Pay

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Performance Versus Pay - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags angry, big business, employees, irritation, managers & supervisors, money, salary

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Boss: I can't give you a bonus this year because we paid too much to buy another company. Dilbert: Are you saying my efforts and my rewards are no longer linked? Boss: Noooo. I'm not saying anything like that. I'm just saying your compensation isn't influenced by your performance. Dilbert: That's the same thing! Boss: Teamwork means we all share the rewards and we all have to share the pain. Dilbert: Does that mean management won't be getting bonuses either? Boss: Now you've made it awkward.

Lack Of Strategy

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Lack Of Strategy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, strategy, business, company, employees, nothing

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dilbert: once again, it seems you accomplished absolutely nothing this week wally: no on will tell me our company's strategy, so anything i did would be random flailing boss: a lack of strategy isn't keeping anyone else from working wally: but shouldn't it?

Comic Like Dilbert

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Comic Like Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Entertainment, Comic, simulation, life, superior, being

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dilbert: i'm freaking out because i just learned there's a comic strip called "dilbert" that is exactly like my life. and look - this is exactly what i did today. it's as if i'm a simulation created by a superior being. dogbert: uh-oh, he's on-to me.

New Tv Ad

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New Tv Ad - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags argument, business ethics, marketing, men and women, office workers, relations between the sexes, accuse

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Dilbert: Ben, from marketing, is here to give us a preview of our new tv ad. Ben: The opening scene shows a bunch of men who are weak and stupid, failing to solve a common problem. Then a confident and strong woman enters and solves the problem with ease. Dilbert: Isn't that incredibly sexist? Ben: No, because only the men are weak and stupid. Dilbert: And that's not sexist? Ben: Why are you being so weak and stupid? You sound like a bigot. Dilbert: I'll be quiet now. Wally: As quickly as it began, the rebellion was quashed.