Long Term Potential Comic Strips - Page 6

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424 Results for Long Term Potential

View 51 - 60 results for long term potential comic strips. Discover the best "Long Term Potential" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tldr, #email, #communication, #patience, #criticism

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Man: Did you read my email? Dilbert: No, it was too long. Man: Maybe you could read it when you have more time. Dilbert: I never have time to read email messages that are too long. Maybe you could rewrite it to be shorter. Man: I don't have time to rewrite it. Dilbert: And I don't have time to read it. Man: If no one reads that email, it will mean I wasted two hours writing it. Dilbert: Plus, you're wasting my time right now. Don't forget to include that in your failure assessment. Man: I had high hopes for that email. Dilbert: It's a sunk cost. Let it go.

Wally's Coffee Drone

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Wally's Coffee Drone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers, #management, #ideas, #invention, #coffee

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Wally: My leadership job didn't last long. I got demoted back to engineering. I guess they realized all of my ideas are about coffee. Dilbert: I've noticed that too. Wally: Watch out for my coffee drone behind you.

How Long For New Feature

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How Long For New Feature - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #excuse, #legacy, #deception, #engineer, #programmer, #engineering

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Tina: How long would it take to add that feature to the legacy system? Wally: That depends. When will the new system replace the legacy system? Tina: In six months. Wally: The new feature would take seven months.

Management Fast Track

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Management Fast Track - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #talent, #management, #potential, #frustration

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Boss: Dilbert, our CEO asked me to put you on the management fast track. Dilbert: Why does he hate me so much? Boss: He didn't say, but I have a lot of guesses if you want to hear them.

Dilbert Has Management Potential

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Dilbert Has Management Potential - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #manager, #honesty, #insult, #obliviousness

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Boss: Our CEO thinks you have management potential. Dilbert: What did I do to deserve that kind of insult??! Boss: He called you a heartless monster. CEO: He speaks truth to power. I like it.

Looks Good But Won't Work

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Looks Good But Won't Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ideas, #impracticality, #managers, #leadership, #threat

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Boss: The one they call Dilbert suggested we do something that looks good but won't work. CEO: Is this the first trace of management potential you've seen from him? Boss: You think it's a fluke? CEO: Let's keep an eye on it.

Bad Optics

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Bad Optics - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #appearances, #optics, #logic, #deception

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Boss: I don't like the optics of your plan. Dilbert: It's the only plan that can work. Should I change it to something that looks good but won't work? Boss: Excellent idea. You might have more management potential than I though.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #wages, #salary, #secret, #anger, #compensation, #money, #unfair

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Catbert: You left a speadsheet with everyone salary in the copier. Boss: Oops. Catbert: By now, every employee has seen it. Boss: Should I be worried that it will lower morale? Catbert: No, I wouldn't worry about that. I would worry about heads exploding when they find out Wally has the highest pay in the department. Noise: Pow!!! Catbert: It's going to be a long week. Boss: Would you mind kicking that angry eyeball into the trash?

Estimating Software Completion

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Estimating Software Completion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #estimate, #deadline, #questioning, #delay, #prediction

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Boss: When will the next version of the software be done? Dilbert: That's like asking me to estimate how long it takes a salamander to evolve into a horse. Boss: So... what should I tell our CEO? Dilbert: Try the salamander analogy. It worked on you.

Punishment By Talking

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Punishment By Talking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deadline, #time, #time management, #managers, #perspective

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Boss: Why is your project taking so long? Dilbert; It isn't. It only seems like a long time to you because you don't know how to do anything. Boss: I know how to punish you for being late. Dilbert: Does it involve talking to me while I'm trying to work?