Lying Comic Strips - Page 6
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Character
164 Results for Lying
View 51 - 60 results for lying comic strips. Discover the best "Lying" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday April 11,
2015
Embellishing Resumes
Tags resume, lying, deception, accomplishments, management, success
Transcript
Catbert: I discovered that one of your employees embellished on his resume. Boss: That's outrageous! Fire him for lying to me! Catbert: I'm talking about the version he updated today. It says he accomplished things while working for you. Boss: That doesn't sound right.
Monday March 30,
2015
Tina Interviews Wally For Article
Tags deception, economist, fraud, interview, jargon, lying, website, total fraud, technology
Transcript
Wally The Economist. Tina: I have to interview you for our website. And since you are a total fraud as an economist, why don't we skip the interview and I'll invent some quotes from you? Wally: That sound economical. Tina: Don't even try.
Sunday February 01,
2015
Tags deception, dishonest, dishonesty, honest, honesty, lying, reverse psychology, trick, trickery, noteworthy, hide evil, verbal assault, easiest lie, set up
Transcript
Boss: To be perfectly honest... Dilbert: Wait! Why do you need to say you're being honest in this particular case? You're implying that you've lied to me so often in the past that this one instance of honesty is noteworthy. That is tantamount to admitting you have no respect for me as a human being. And you don't even have the decency to hide your evil in a competent fashion! Do you think I'm such an idiot that I wouldn't notice your verbal assault on my intelligence? Okay, let's hear the one honest thing you have ever told me. Go. Boss: This is going to be the easiest lie I've ever told.
Saturday January 10,
2015
Topping Our Of Category
Tags competition, hyperbole, lying, topping, sleepless, kung fu, divert asteroid, c=ollison, collision course
Transcript
Alice: I only slept three hours last night. Topper: That's nothing! I used kunk fu to divert an asteroid that was on a collision course with Earth. Alice: Topping needs to be in the same category! Topper: Only if you're bad at it! Hoo-ha!
Friday December 19,
2014
Carol Says Dilbert Had A Vacuuming Accident
Tags excuses, lying, tardiness, traffic, vacuum, freak accident, vacuuming naked, bad traffic
Transcript
Carol: Dilbert called to say he'd be late for your meeting. He said something about having a freak accident while vacuuming naked. Dilbert: Did you tell him traffic was bad? Carol: More or less.
Tuesday November 25,
2014
Launch Beta In Two Months
Tags credibility, lying, truth, beta version, laughing, problem
Transcript
Dilbert: And I plan to launch the beta version in two months. Group: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Dilbert: I have a credibility problem. Dogbert: And I should believe that?
Monday November 24,
2014
Winning The Bid
Tags bidding, executives, lying, outsourcing, projects, winning bid, good news, secretly subcontract, scream, presentation
Transcript
Dilbert: The good news is that we had the winning bid for the project. The less-good news is that we don't make the product we just sold, nor could we make it for the price we bid. My plan is to put out an RFP to secretly subcontract the work to a bigger liar. CEO: That could work.
Tuesday October 21,
2014
Tags managers, managers & supervisors, morale, robots, problems, lying, spectacular job, award randomly, in charge, robot boss, temporary, employees, oversight, business
Transcript
Boss: Did you have any problems filling in for me while I was on vacation? Robot: It was hard at first. I couldn't tell who was lying about doing a spectacular job. Boss: That's why I reward them randomly. Robot: I tried that and it did seem to settle them down.
Monday October 20,
2014
Tags employees, honesty, lying, morale, punishing honesty, 100% perfect, business
Transcript
Temporary Robot Boss. Robot: Is it just my simulated imagination or are all of the employees lying to me all the time? Catbert: We trained them to be that way by punishing honesty. Robot: How is you project coming along? Alice: 100% perfect! Couldn't be better!
Tuesday September 09,
2014
Tags lying, customers, pitch, software bugs, present information, good for us, dont lable
Transcript
Boss: When you talk to customers, stop mentioning our software bugs. Dilbert: Should I lie? Boss: No, no. I just need you to present the information that is good for us and leave out the rest. Dilbert: Lie by omission? Boss: It's better if we don't label it. Dilbert: Should I use my real name?


