Make Up Mind Comic Strips - Page 6

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View 51 - 60 results for make up mind comic strips. Discover the best "Make Up Mind" comics from Dilbert.com.

Getting Opinions

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Getting Opinions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #technology, #input, #dumb, #human, #universe, #Opinion, #strategy, #worse

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boss: get ted's input before you finalize the plan. dilbert: ted is the dumbest human being in the known universe. his opinion can only make things worse. boss: that's how we do it here. dilbert: i didn't realize it was a strategy.

Real Data

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Real Data  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #decision, #office workers, #sarcasm, #dumb, #facts

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Man: We need to make decisions based on real data! Dilbert: Who do you imagine disagrees with that obvious statement? Man: Uh-oh. I just realized I'm dumb and never knew it. Dilbert: I hear it can sneak up on you.

Need Boss To Make Decision

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Need Boss To Make Decision - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argument, #boss, #decision, #engineering, #knowledge, #marketing, #office workers, #sarcasm, #technology

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Dilbert: We need your help making a decision. Jeff doesn't understand my product strategy because he isn't an engineer. And I don't understand any of his marketing nonsense. That's why we came to you. Boss: Because I understand both marketing and engineering? Dilbert: No, it's because you don't understand either one. We didn't have a coin to flip, and your decisions are totally random, so... Boss: Maybe you could describe the situation. Dilbert: I don't see how that helps.

Boss Is In A High Risk Group

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Boss Is In A High Risk Group - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticism, #health & safety, #office workers, #sarcasm, #virus, #pandemic, #risk

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Carol: Are you worried about coronavirus because you're in a high-risk group? Boss: Why would I be in a high-risk group? Carol: Do you own a full-length mirror? Boss: No. They make me look fat.

Noble Bad Data

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Noble Bad Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accurate, #bad, #business, #data, #heroic, #managers & supervisors, #noble, #war

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boss's voice coming from monitor: is the data accurate? dilbert at desk looking at boss on video conference: you don't go to war with the data you need. you go to war with the data you have. boss: did you just make it sound noble to use bad data? dilbert: and heroic.

Ceo Has Pandemic Plan

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Ceo Has Pandemic Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #video conference, #stock market, #money, #rich, #lost, #pandemic, #health, #underpay, #stategy

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ceo on video conference: i used to be rich, but i lost it all in the stock market crash during the pandemic. luckily, i can make up the difference by working you idiots to death while underpaying you. video chat: we thought you didn't have a strategy. ceo: i just don't like to talk about it.

Spring Cleaning

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Spring Cleaning - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #baboons, #birthday, #business, #cleaning, #criminals, #drunk, #files, #list, #servers, #spring, #white-collar

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boss on cell phone: we need to do spring cleaning. delete any data on our servers that make us look like white-collar criminals or drunken baboons. dilbert: all that leaves is our birthday list. boss through phone line: torch that too.

Coronavirus

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Coronavirus - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #24 hours, #business, #coronavirus, #health, #home, #remote, #tragic, #work from home

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dilbert: i'm working at home to avoid the coronavirus. i'll have to stay here 24 hours a day. dogbert: that's tragic. dilbert: i don't mind. dogbert: i meant tragic for me.

Rot From The Inside

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Rot From The Inside - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #work, #ethic, #abysmal, #loan, #project, #hate, #rot, #idea, #raise

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boss: wally, your work ethic is abysmal. you're fired. wally: wouldn't it make more sense to loan me to a project you hate, so i can rot it from the inside? boss: that's not your worst idea. wally: is a raise out of the question?

Working On Vacation

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Working On Vacation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #work, #vacation, #scold, #enjoy, #behind, #train, #broken

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dilbert: do you mind if i come to work on my vacation days? i hate being scolded for being behind in my work more that i enjoy taking vacations. boss: it seems i have trained you well. dilbert: no, i'm just broken.