Mean Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

333 Results for Mean

View 51 - 60 results for mean comic strips. Discover the best "Mean" comics from Dilbert.com.

It Sounded Like Feng Shui

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
It Sounded Like Feng Shui - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers, obliviousness, distraction, attention

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why haven't you finished writing the software? Dilbert: Because each of your interruptions took me out of the zone and turned a simple task into a nightmare. Catbert: What did he mean by that? Boss: It sounded like some sort of feng shui.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags happiness, work, torture, human resources, hr, manipulation, content, psychology, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: The one called Dilbert is showing signs of happiness at work. Boss: That means we can give him more work and he won't quit. Excellent. Is anyone else exhibiting signs of unauthorized happiness? Catbert: No. Everyone else is in the narrow band of misery you want them to be in. If they were any happier, it would mean you're overpaying them. If they were any less happy, the would take their own lives. If you don't hear any laughing or screaming, it means you're doing something right. Boss: What about moans? Catbert: Moans are ideal. That's the sweet spot.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags email, communication, response, confusion, honesty, overshare

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Did you see my email? Dilbert; Did you mean your two-page document that has about twelve questions for me sprinkled throughout? Man: Yes, that's the one. Why haven't you responded? Dilbert: It's hard to answer that question while being polite. Man: You can be honest. Dilbert: Your email was such a disorganized mess that I assumed everything you do is doomed to fail. I didn't want to waste half a day deciphering it just so I could be on the losing side. With you. Man: Next time, just say you were busy. Dilbert: And I was busy.

Tina Agrees To Be Work Wife

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Agrees To Be Work Wife - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags spouse, wife, insult, mean, game, obliviousness, relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Alice doesn't want to be my work-wife. How about you? Tina; As your work-wife, would I be able to jokingly insult you in front of the others? Boss: Sure, ha ha! Tina: Okay, I'm in. Now run along, you ignorant sack of wet fertilizer. Boss: This is fun!

Travelling Broadens Worldview

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Travelling Broadens Worldview - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags travel, perspective, view, worldview

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I love travelling because it broadens my understanding of the world. Wally: I know what you mean. I just got a cubicle near the window and now I see the world as an alleyway between me and the parking garage. Alice: That's dumb. Wally: That's not what the alley people say.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags capitalism, big business, competition, benefit

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The company's goal is to make the world a better place. Dilbert: How does that square with our stated goal of destroying our competition? If we succeed, those people will be out of jobs. After we annihilate our competition, we can jack up our prices to monopoly levels and take advantage of our customers. Most of our profits go toward making the rich richer. We don't even pay taxes. Meanwhile, my co-workers and I will be living a life that has been stripped of all meaning. Is that what you had in mind by "Making the world a better place?" CEO: I didn't mean better for everyone.

Dilbert Cheats On His Work Wife

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Cheats On His Work Wife - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work, wife, wives, adultery, cheating, criticism, nagging, anger, marriage, roles, relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: There' s rumor that you're cheating on me with another "work wife." Dilbert: I let Tina criticize me a little. But I swear it didn't mean anything. And... she makes me look for her lost keys. Alice: I knew it!

Recommening A Friend

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Recommening A Friend - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bribe, employee, hiring, money, referral, guest artist, jake tapper

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Do you have any friends with technical skills who you can recommend to work here? Wally: I don't have any friends, but if I did, why would I be so mean to them? Boss: You get a $1,000 bonus for referring a friend. Wally: How much for a gullible acquaintance?

Loud Howard And Tina Have A Romance

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Loud Howard And Tina Have A Romance - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags romance, relationships, dating, secret, speaking, loud, shouting

View Transcript

Transcript

Loud Howard. Tina: We must keep our office romance a secret. Howard: I won't tell anyone about us, Tina!!!! Dilbert: You have a bad case of Loud Howard hair. But what does the extra spittle mean? Hmmm... Tina: Grrrr...

Ted Is Not That Dumb

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Is Not That Dumb - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags joke, mean, bully, insult, death, idiot, idiocy, stupid, dumb, guest artist, brenna thummler, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You're not allowed to tell co-workers to drive into a ravine. Dilbert: It was a joke. Ted isn't so dumb that he would do it. Ask him if he's that dumb. Boss: Don't speak ill of the dead.