Mind Out Of Niche Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Mind Out Of Niche

View 51 - 60 results for mind out of niche comic strips. Discover the best "Mind Out Of Niche" comics from Dilbert.com.

Stress Balls

Thank you for voting.
Stress Balls - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 2018's comic on:


Tags #stress, #frustration, #stress ball

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: I bought stress balls for everyone in the office. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! This ball is too hard to squeeze! It's stressing me out! How is this going to decrease my stress? Catbert: You're thinking of anti-stress balls.

Already Tried That Plan

Thank you for voting.
Already Tried That Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 11, 2018's comic on:


Tags #disagreement, #argument, #opposites, #conflict

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We tried that plan already and it didn't work. Boss: Stop living in the past. Dilbert: Stop refusing to learn from experience. Boss: Wait... why do we both sound right? Dilbert; I don't know. It's freaking me out a little.

Our Api

Thank you for voting.
Our Api - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 09, 2018's comic on:


Tags #hackers, #hacking, #api, #jargon, #obliviousness, #language

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Dogbert The Reporter. Dogbert: How did hackers get access to your customer data? CEO: I'm told they used something called "our A.P.I." to suck out all the data. Dogbert: I'll just say you'er stupid. CEO: Why does everyone always say that?

Dating A Skeleton

Thank you for voting.
Dating A Skeleton - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 05, 2018's comic on:


Tags #sex, #dating, #relationships, #questioning, #desperation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you mind if I ask you a personal question? Skeleton: Go ahead. But if you ask me if I'm dead, there is no chance I'll be rattling bones with you later. What's your question? Dilbert: It can wait until tomorrow.

Tracking Employee Theft

Thank you for voting.
Tracking Employee Theft - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 2018's comic on:


Tags #surveillance, #data, #information, #spying, #privacy

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: Someone stole my purse out of my cubicle. Catbert: No problem. We have security video nearly everywhere and we can track every phone that has our internal company app on it. Carol: That is mildly disturbing. Catbert: Here's a live feed of the perp in the third stall of the men's restroom.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 29, 2018's comic on:


Tags #valor, #awards, #bragging, #laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The employee award for valor goes to Wally. During the false alarm, we noticed Wally was not with the other evacuees. He stayed behind to make sure everyone else got out. At least that's what he told us later. Wally, do you have any words of inspiration for the group? Wally: Most of you are cowards. But imagine how good you would feel winning a non-monetary award for valor. Now I ask all of you to think about how you can repay me for my selfless valor on your behalf. Dilbert: Did you sleep through the fire alarm? Wally: Most productive nap I've ever had.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2018's comic on:


Tags #training, #frustration, #wasting time

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Thank you all for coming to this mandatory class on using the new system. The new system installation is behind schedule, so I'll train you using the old system. Dilbert: we know how to use the old system. Man: I'll point out how the new system is different as we go. Dilbert: Is the new system a lot like the old system? Man: No. Totally different. Dilbert: This is the worst idea I've ever heard. Man: Here are some handouts from the old system's operating guide. Dilbert: This is the Japanese language part of the manual. Man: Are you going to complain about everything?

Need A Dopamine Hit

Thank you for voting.
Need A Dopamine Hit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 2018's comic on:


Tags #addiction, #technology, #stimulation, #dopamine, #distraction, #cell phone, #social media, #Games, #internet

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My digital devices have reduced my attention span so much I can barely concentrate on work. I need a dopamine hit every four seconds or I look for something else to do. Carol: Would you mind terribly if I play with my phone while you drone on and on?

No Good Ideas In Decades

Thank you for voting.
No Good Ideas In Decades - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 2018's comic on:


Tags #ideas, #candid, #ageism, #conversation, #speaking, #talking

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: May I make a suggestion? Dilbert: Sure. Do you mind if I only pretend to listen because you haven't had a good idea in several decades? Man: That's fine. I was only looking forward to the part where I'm talking. Dilbert: Proceed.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 2018's comic on:


Tags #sociopath, #obliviousness, #tell-all

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: There's a new tell-all book about our company. CEO: How bad is it? Dilbert: It's bad. Anonymous sources within the company say you're a "raging sociopath with the intellect of a clam." CEO: Put out a press release denying those lies! Dilbert: That's going to be tricky to write. CEO: Just say I deny being a sociopath with the mind of a clam. Also say I hope whoever said that about me dies a slow and terrible death. Is that clear? Dilbert: Yes, on many levels.