New System Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for New System

View 51 - 60 results for new system comic strips. Discover the best "New System" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ted Talks Creates A God

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Talks Creates A God - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, mental, midget, ted talks, binge-watching, god, dumb, all knowing

View Transcript

Transcript

new hire: i must leave you mental midgets behind as i go start up my own company. i was once dumb like all of you. then i started binge-watching ted talks, and i evolved. dilbert: what are you now? new hire: some kind of god, i assume.

Ted Talks Make You Smarter

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Talks Make You Smarter - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, moron, new hire, smart, ted talk, binge-watch

View Transcript

Transcript

new hire: i used to be a moron, but then i binge-watched seventeen ted talks on youtube. now i'm the smartest person in the room. wally: should we do something about this? dilbert: i don't know. i've only watched six ted talks.

Personal Health Data

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Personal Health Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, laptop, private, data, cloud, asthma, personal, health, edit, disease

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert at laptop: according to your private data in the cloud, you have a mild case of asthma. dilbert: you can see my personal health data? dogbert: see it? hahaha! i can do more than that! dilbert: what is more than that? dogbert: i can edit it. you have six new diseases now.

Recreational Data

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Recreational Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags buisness, management, managing, cloud, personal, information, laugh, legal, recreation

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: the best part about my new job managing the cloud is that i get to laugh at everyone's personal information. dilbert: you're not suppose to be looking at anyone's personal data. dogbert: i'm fairly sure it's legal if i only do it recreationally.

Dogbert In The Cloud

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert In The Cloud   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, personal, information, cloud, safe, worry, trust, manage, system, browser, history

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i'm concerned that storing my personal information in the cloud is not safe. dilbert: don't be such a worrier. i'm sure we can trust the people who manage those systems to keep us safe. somewhere in the cloud dogbert: hee-hee! look at the browser history on this bunion-having loser.

Elbonian Consultant

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonian Consultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, consultant, elbonia, people, local, problem, distribution, execute, Opinion, barber

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i hired an elbonian consultant because we couldn't afford anyone local. dilbert: have you ever consulted in this country? elbonian consultant: no, but people are people, so i assume it isn't that different from elbonia. boss: that's enough chitchat. tell us what we should do about the problems in our distribution system. elbonian system: i recommend executing one of your distributors as a warning to the others. boss: i'm going to need a second opinion. elbonian consultant: my second opinion is that your barber must hate your guts.

Wally Prefers Systems

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Prefers Systems  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, office workers, goals, question, answer, system, year

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: what are your goals for the year? wally: i prefer systems over goals. dilbert: okay, what are your systems? wally: none of them involve answering questions.

Alice And Blockchain

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Alice And Blockchain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, project, learn, skills

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: i'd like to help on the blockchain project to build my skills in that area. boss: i don't like it when people learn new things. alice: i don't know what to say to that. boss: oh, good. it worked.

Wally Not Working

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Wally Not Working - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, employment, managers & supervisors, office workers, technology, work ethic, micro-managing

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: you don't seem to be working. wally: i don't want to start something new because it's almost the end of my work day. boss: it's ten o'clock in the morning. wally: and here comes the micro-managing.

Price Gouging

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Price Gouging - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, network, idiot, price, gouging, upgrade

View Transcript

Transcript

vendor: now that the network installation is half-done, i have you idiots right where i want you. it's too late for you to get a new vendor, so i'll be price-gouging you on upgrades you didn't even know you would need. dilbert: why are you telling us???? vendor: it makes it more fun for me.