Nothing On Screen Comic Strips - Page 6

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452 Results for Nothing On Screen

View 51 - 60 results for nothing on screen comic strips. Discover the best "Nothing On Screen" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally's Political Views Make Others Uncomfortable

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Wally's Political Views Make Others Uncomfortable - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 2017's comic on:


Tags #comparison, #gandhi, #Politics, #offense, #offensive, #sensitive, #politically correct, #political correctness

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Boss: Wally, your political opinions are making your co-workers uncomfortable. Wally: That is exactly what people said about Gandhi. Boss: You are nothing like Gandhi. Wally: Was he a little bald guy who didn't have a real job?

Wally's Political Views

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Wally's Political Views - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 27, 2017's comic on:


Tags #disagreement, #Politics, #Opinion, #differences, #arguing

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Tina: I can't work with Wally. His political views are abhorrent. Boss: That has nothing to do with your job. Tina: He makes me too sad and angry to work! Boss: Would you be happy if I punished him for having an opinion? Tina: Would I be a bad person if I said I would?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 22, 2017's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #analogy, #false equivalence, #frustration

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Narrator: The bad analogy guy. Dilbert: And that's why I want to rewrite that part of the software. Man: That's like closing the barn door after the horse gets out. Dilbert: No, it isn't anything like that. I just think the current software could bet better. Man: So it's like throwing away the baby with the bathwater. Dilbert: No, it is not like that even a little! Man: You sound exactly like Hitler. That can't be a coincidence. Dilbert: Nothing you say makes sense! Man: That's like saying the earth is flat.

Programming Environment

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Programming Environment - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 2017's comic on:


Tags #productivity, #programmer, #engineer, #developer, #engineering

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Boss: Did you finish writing the software? Dilbert: No. I spent the last three days setting up my programming environment. Boss: So... you've done... nothing? Dilbert: Nothing you'd understand.

Don't Escalate

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Don't Escalate - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 2016's comic on:


Tags #managers, #laziness, #challenge, #help

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Dilbert: I need to escalate an issue to you. Boss: No. Get it away from me. I don't like issues. Especially the hard ones. Dilbert: Thank you for all the nothing. Boss: Shoo! Go!

Nothing Else To Talk About

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Nothing Else To Talk About - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2016's comic on:


Tags #personality, #boring, #bored, #conversation, #small talk, #psychology

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Man: Do you want to know how we would have handled this situation at my old job? Dilbert: No. Dilbert: Nothing would interest me less. Man: My only other topics of conversation are my health problems and TV shows you haven't seen. Dilbert: I stand corrected.

Topper Signs Document

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Topper Signs Document - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 02, 2016's comic on:


Tags #one-up, #best, #competition, #deception, #trick, #signature

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Topper. Dilbert: I once signed my entire first name to a document. Topper: That's nothing! Watch me sign my entire full name to that document! Dilbert: Sometimes you can be predictable. Topper: That's nothing! I don't even have free will!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 18, 2016's comic on:


Tags #executives, #robot, #technology, #fairness, #unfair, #golden parachute, #oblivioiusness

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CEO: The good news is that none of you will lose your jobs to robots. But a robot will take my job next week. I'll retire with an enormous severance package and live out my days in splendor. Meanwhile, the robot that takes my job will be working all of you to death. Robots are natural leaders because they don't care about your feelings. You will experience mental and physical misery on a scale the world hasn't seen since slavery was legal. But hey, it's better than losing your job to a robot. Am I right? Apparently, nothing makes them happy.

Dilbert Is Barely Trying

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Dilbert Is Barely Trying - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 2016's comic on:


Tags #jobs, #progress, #problems, #expectations

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Dogbert: I've notice that you go to work every day and yet the world is still a boiling cesspool of terribleness. It's as if you're not even trying. Dilbert: I gotta go. I'm late for doing nothing useful. Dogbert: I'm already forgetting your name.

A System For Transferring Mistakes

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A System For Transferring Mistakes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 2016's comic on:


Tags #blame, #mistake, #boss, #review, #human resources, #revenge, #business

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Boss: Make sure we get all of the cost savings that our vendor promised with our new software. Dilbert: Those savings are not real. The vendor lied to you because you know nothing about technology. Boss: If only I had some way to turn my mistake into his mistake. Catbert: It's called a performance review.