Odds Of Success Comic Strips - Page 6

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193 Results for Odds Of Success

View 51 - 60 results for odds of success comic strips. Discover the best "Odds Of Success" comics from Dilbert.com.

Hairdresser Illuminati

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 Hairdresser Illuminati - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hair, #haircut, #hairstyles, #success, #Politics, #candidates, #secret organization, #secret society, #control

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The Hairdresser Illuminati. Dogbert: Before we start, I'll need to see a list of your political views. Hoo-boy, this is some crazy stuff. I have just the right hairstyle for this. There. That should keep you out of The White House.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #credit, #motivation, #obliviousness, #hiring, #logic, #business

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Boss: The secret to success is hiring the right people. Dilbert: Then why doesn't everyone do that? Boss: It takes a lot of skill to hire the right people. Dilbert: Did you just find a way to take all of the credit for the team's success? And did you do it in a clever way that was intended to make you look humble even while hogging all the credit? Boss: I also motivate you. Dilbert: You're money?

Haircut Illuminati

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Haircut Illuminati - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #secret society, #organizations, #illuminati, #hair, #hairstyles, #haircut, #barber, #Politics, #politicians, #success

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Dogbert: I became a member of the Hairdresser Illuminati. Dilbert: The what? Dogbert: It's a shadowy organization that controls the world by manipulating the hairstyles of political candidates. Boss: What is my barber doing here? Dogbert: That haircut will never become your next president.

Tina Gost Writes About Success

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Tina Gost Writes About Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #humility, #insult, #humble, #ghostwriter, #biography, #Advice, #business

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Boss: Tina, a business publication asked me to write an article about success. I need you to ghostwrite it. Make me look wise, yet humble at the same time. Tina: "Hire employees that are smarter than you. In my case, that includes all adults, most children, and an alarming number of dolphins.

Understanding The Problem

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Understanding The Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #wisdom, #criticism, #bad advice, #executives, #success

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CEO Wisdom. Asok: Can you teach me to be a success? CEO: Yes, obviously. Stop everything you're doing now because it clearly isn't working. Asok: That's it? CEO: Understanding the problem is half the solution.

Trust Yourself

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Trust Yourself - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #motivation, #inspiration, #logic, #obliviousness, #Advice, #executives, #motivational speaking

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CEO: The key to success is trusting yourself. Alice: Even when you're wrong? CEO: I'm starting to think motivation isn't a thing.

Hire Smarter People

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Hire Smarter People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #leadership, #success, #insult, #power, #compliment, #backhanded compliment, #ego, #humility, #humble

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CEO: The secret to my success is that I hire people who are smarter than me. And then I tell those smart people exactly what to do. It keeps you humble. Dilbert: Good, because all of this was starting to go to my head.

Hard Work Is Necessary For Success

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Hard Work Is Necessary For Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #misunderstanding, #motivation, #hard work, #Advice, #brainwash

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Wally: Remember, Asok, success requires hard work and sacrifice. Asok: Got it! I will work hard and sacrifice! Wally: I was going to say that's why you should avoid success. Who brainwashed you?

Not That Invested In Your Success

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Not That Invested In Your Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #communication, #excuse, #excuses

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Wally: I made no progress on your project because I was waiting to ask you some questions. Coworker: You could have emailed me. Or texted me. Or stopped by my desk. Wally: I"m not that invested in your success.

Health Sensor Predictes Death

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Health Sensor Predictes Death - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #invention, #success, #technology, #health monitor, #fitbit, #smart watch, #heart, #heart rate, #death, #medical

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Ted: The health sensors you built into our smart watch prototype aren't working. According to your stupid sensors, my heart is going to stop beating in... Dilbert: Yay me!