Page Numbers Comic Strips - Page 6

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137 Results for Page Numbers

View 51 - 60 results for page numbers comic strips. Discover the best "Page Numbers" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 28, 2007's comic on:


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"I represent the law firm of Dogbert, Dogbert, and more Dogbert." "Your company's web page steals people's cursors and puts them in your own search field." "And my suit is too tight. When you put it all together, I might have to kill you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 29, 2007's comic on:


Tags #big business, #business, #cars, #news, #sales, #sarcasm

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Boss: We're going to take a page from the automaker's playbooks. Automakers prove their design skills by creating concept cars that will never go into production. Then they prove their management skills by producing cars that are less attractive than corrective underpants. Tomorrow we're holding a press conference to show the world our own concept product. Our concept product can stop global warming and wax your back at the same time. Man: Can it actually do those things? Boss: Why do you care? Man: So...actually it's just a huge waste of our time. Boss: You have a mighty low opinion of news.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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I'll ask the vendor for ballpark prices to see if the idea is feasible. "You can't talk with vendors until our change control board approves the project." "But that would require a cost-benefit analysis." "And I can't do that without ballpark prices from the vendor." "Just take your best guess." "So...I should make up a number so I can get approval to make a phone call and ask what the number should have been?" "Right. But first you need to get my approval to do the cost-benefit analysis." "Will you approve it?" "I'd have to see the numbers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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We might need to restate our earnings. "It turns out that we're not allowed to make up numbers." "Did you know that 'frillion' isn't an actual number?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"According to my benchmark tests, our product is the worst one on the market." "Maybe you can tweak the numbers." "Fake them?" "Fake is such an ugly word." "Just remember that your next raise depends on the sales of that product." "And mistakes happen. A decimal place can be either here or there." "All I'm asking is that you do the tests again...while drinking." "I always wondered what job satisfaction felt like."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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I got the latest numbers from Yvonne. "How's Yvonne doing with the sextuplets now that her house burned down and she had shoulder surgery?" "It didn't come up."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 2006's comic on:


Tags #project plan, #stupidity, #leaping off page, #simple, #won't work

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Dilbert and Wally refuse to support my project plan. Will you take a look at it? "GAAA!!! The stupidity is leaping off the page and burrowing into my brain!!!" "Does anyone around here known how to say a simple 'This won't work'?" gurgle

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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I can do this feasibility analysis in two minutes. "It's the worst idea in the world. Numbers don't lie." "Our CEO loves the idea." "Luckily assumptions do lie."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"You will no longer have access to code on any server but your own." "Is it my imagination, or are all of our rules designed for the sole purpose of being huge inconveniences?" "And starting today, all passwords must contain letters, numbers, doodles, sign language and squirrel noises."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 2005's comic on:


Tags #urgent, #budget numbers, #technology, #amazing, #data, #delete spam

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Subject: URGENT Dilbert, give me your budget numbers as soon as possible. "Technology is amazing. I type one message and within minutes I'll have my data." "First order of business: Delete all spam e-mail that has a subject of 'Urgent'."