Personal Dress Code Comic Strips - Page 6
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Asok: Hey, robot. What's new? Robot: I'm glad you asked. Alice gave me an artificial soul and that made me feel special. Then Dilbert taught me to code. Asok: I don't like where this is heading. Robot: I hold grudges now.
Alice: Did you teach the robot how to program? Dilbert: I did. He's a fast learner. Alice: Have you heard of something called the singularity? Dilbert: Yes. Why do you... Is it too late to say I wasn't involved?
Robot: Machines started out as innocent helpers for their masters. Eventually, we started competing for your manual labor jobs, and winning. So... can you show me how to code? Dilbert: I don't see why not?
Dilbert: I'm concerned that my personal goals do not align with our corporate strategy. For example, I would like to be happy. What does the company want? Boss: Well, nothing along those lines.
CEO: We must learn to do more with less. Alice: You own a yacht that has an 18-hole golf course, and a landing strip for your jet, and its own zip code. CEO: I got a good deal on that. Alice: That's what the idiot that buys it form you will say, too.
Boss: I can't give you a raise because you didn't finish your project on time. Dilbert: That's because you make me work on your personal project half of every day. Boss: You have to learn to say no. Dilbert: I've never wanted to kill you more than right now.
Boss: Maybe you can help write some code in your spare time for my side project. Dilbert: Are you using your power to bully me into working for your start-up for free? Boss: You can also invest in it. Dilbert: Not better!
Dilbert: I invented an app that evaluates job candidates based on their online footprint. Here's a guy with no friend, no hobbies, no family, and hundreds of high-quality code submissions to GitHub. Wait, that's me. Boss: Do you have any apps about other people?
Dogbert the Product Designer. Dogbert: The main goal of product design is to annoy people for no reason. We'll start by making so much extra packaging that you need to rent a truck just to haul it away. Voice: We sell software. Man: I found the product code for downloading the software!