Poor Persons Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

106 Results for Poor Persons

View 51 - 60 results for poor persons comic strips. Discover the best "Poor Persons" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags outsourcing, economy, scam, budget

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "the Dogbert outsourcing company has a solution for every budget." Dogbert says, "At the deluxe level you get highly educated Indian who speak perfect English." The boss says, "Sounds pricey." The boss says, "Let me see?at my budget level we can get..." The boss says, "...One illiterate Elbonian with poor attendance and an anger management problem." the boss says, "Stupid economy." the boss says, "I'll take him." Dogbert says, "I should warn you that he handles several accounts... and he doesn't know he has a job." Elbonian says, "Why does everyone keep calling me and complaining?! I hate your guts!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags complaining, yelling, angry, future

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok the intern says, "Your generation is leaving my generation a dying planet and a crippling debt." Wally says, "Hee Hee!" Asok the intern says, "But we shall invent life-extending drugs so you will suffer along with us! Ha!" News Wally says, "Uh-oh." Asok the intern says, "We will connect you to machines and keep you alive until the poor demand to eat you." Wally says, "Well played."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coldness of the grave, dress it up, high in demand, mad, time, time management, waiting

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: Who are we waiting for? Dilbert: Alice. She has poor time management skills. But she's try to dress it up by saying she's in high demand. Why do I suddenly feel the coldness of the grave.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags billions in bad loans, bug pay cut, regulatory oversight

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: We've decided to write off 47 billion dollars in bad loans. You might think this is my fault, but in actuality it is all caused by poor regulatory oversight. Who is in favor of those guys taking a big pay cut? Anyone?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags executive steering group, cancel designs, sowed seeds of destruction, unclear

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "The executive steering group took your recommendation to cancel all design projects." Dilbert says, "What?!! I didn't recommend that!" The Boss says, "Uh-oh. Your poor communication skills have sowed the seeds of our destruction." Dilbert says, "Gaaa!!!" Dilbert says, "Am I an unclear communicator?" Dogbert says, "six o'clock."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cansisate, resume, spelling errors, hire a moron, poor perfromance, bigger reaise, interview skills, crazy good, manipulate, job interview

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "Your resume is riddled with spelling errors. Why should we hire a moron?" Candidate: "My poor performance would make you look good in comparison. you'll get a bigger raise if I work here." The boss: "What do you think of him?" Dilbert: "Well, his interview skills are crazy good."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hard drive, too much smut, film clips, poor lighting, move to external, server, disabled firewall

View Transcript

Transcript

"Alice, my laptop is slowing down. Can you take a look at it?" "Here's the problem. There's too much smut on your hard drive." "I recommend deleting the film clips that have poor lighting." "And here's a whole category that you haven't looked at in weeks." "I'll move those to an external drive in case you need 'em later." "Wally has all this stuff on the server. You don't need it on your laptop." "What the...? You pinhead! You disabled your firewall!" "If you work here long enough, your outrage ends up in all of the wrong places." "Who moved my stapler?!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags evil director, downsizing, human way, marketing ones, giant dung beetle, ball, poor performers

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "The downsizing will be handled in the most humane way I could think of." "I hired a giant dung beetle to roll the poor performers into a ball and out the door." "I can't get the marketing ones to stick. They keep sliding off."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags our annual report, positive spin, poor results, stock plummenting, can't afford us

View Transcript

Transcript

"Tina, I want you to write our annual report." "How should I explain our poor results?" "Just give it a positive spin." "If you have to ask why our stock keeps plummeting, you can't afford us."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags teds shower, baby shower, taxes, subsidize, put five, poor fiscal planning

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I'm collecting money for Ted's baby shower. Wally: "My taxes already subsidized his other brats. I'm taking a refund." Carol: "I just put that five in there!" Wally: "I can't be responsible for your poor fiscal planning."