Productivity Rewarded Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

107 Results for Productivity Rewarded

View 51 - 60 results for productivity rewarded comic strips. Discover the best "Productivity Rewarded" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 2007's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #dont know, #creating illusion, #work, #conflating, #concepts, #attendence, #prodcutivity, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: I don't know you. Why are you in this meeting? Wally: "I'm creating the illusion of work by conflating the concepts of attendance and productivity." "You should leave." Wally: "And who should I say hates teamwork?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 22, 2007's comic on:


Tags #family freindly, #policices, #lost prodcutivity, #openly hotsile, #single people, #not fair, #impatience, #contradictory remarks, #hypcrisy, #blatant prejudice

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: "We've decided to be more family friendly in our policies." "To compensate for the lost productivity, we'll be openly hostile to single people." Dilbert: "That doesn't seem fair." Catbert: "Shut up and get back to work, eunuch!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 2007's comic on:


Tags #increased pordcutivity, #watched funny videos, #morning until dusk, #halfway done

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: This week I increased my productivity by improving my morale. "I watched funny youtube videos from morning until dusk." The Boos: "That's all you did?" Wally: "Don't worry. I'm almost halfway done."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 2007's comic on:


Tags #write code, #faster, #high level of effciciency, #recognized, #rewarded, #works for you, #finish all projects, #one hour

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I found a clever way to write my application code in one hour! "Normally this sort of thing would take weeks." "I assume my high level of efficiency will be recognized and rewarded." Alice: "Let me know how that works out for you." The Boss: "You did all of that in one hour?" Asok: "Yes. I did." The Boss: "From now on. I expect you to finish all of your projects in one hours." "Otherwise I'll assume you're ripping off the company." Asok: "You could have warned me." Alice: "That's not how experience works."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 2007's comic on:


Tags #simulation, #productivity, #workforce, #pandemic

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Run a simulation of our productivity if we lost half our workforce to a pandemic. Dilbert: "Should I assume we lose the productive people or the people who ask other people to run pandemic simulations?" The Boss: "Try both ways?" Dilbert: "Okay. I'm done."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 2007's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"In order to boost productivity, the company has decided that employees can not use e-mail on Fridays." "What if my highest priorities require e-mail? Should I waste my day doing worthless stuff?" "Geez, somehow you made a great idea seem ridiculous." "Yeah, that's all me."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 22, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "Our employee onboarding process will get you all mainstreamed in no time at all." "This will be your cubicle, if we can find another place to store this junk." "You'll get a phone and a computer if the budget ever gets approved." "This is Alice. She will be your mentor." "I don't have time to babysit! I'm buried in work!" "I do not like you. I...do...not...like you!!!" "Stand in the hallway and read these binders. If you learn anything, forget it, because knowledge isn't rewarded here." "Try giving up hope. It turns the bad feeling into emptiness."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"The first item of business is..." clickety clickety clickety clickety clickety clickety "What's that sound?" clickety clickety clickety clickety "Airplane." "Scooter." "Locusts." "Why does it stop when you talk?" "It landed." "It parked." "They're napping." "Okay...Anyway, I wanted to thank you all for your attendance." clickety clickety clickety clickety "I know you were concerned that my meetings were using up all of the time you had for doing work." clickety clickety clickety clickety clickety "Productivity is up, but apparently we have locusts."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 14, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"I've had it with this place! I quit!" "No!!!!" "We can't finish the project on time if you leave." "I'll give you a 20% raise if you stay." "Really? Okay. I'll stay." "Huh." "Hey, everyone, disloyalty is being rewarded!" "I'll probably get another raise for this."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 2005's comic on:


Tags #power point zone, #real wolrd, #bullet points, #imaginary prodcutivity, #eight lsides

View Transcript

Transcript

I am entering the PowerPoint zone. "I no longer feel the need to change the real world as long as I can change these bullet points." "How much imaginary productivity did you have today?" "Eight slides!"