Researching Every State Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

484 Results for Researching Every State

View 51 - 60 results for researching every state comic strips. Discover the best "Researching Every State" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Maintains The Network

Thank you for voting.
Wally Maintains The Network  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 2018's comic on:


Tags #information, #spying, #surviellance, #blackmail, #extortion

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally, your performance is terrible. You're fired. Wally: Are you aware that every message you have ever sent using company devices is archived on a network you assigned me to maintain? Boss: Is that a threat? Wally: I also archive your web searches.

Absurd Absolute

Thank you for voting.
 Absurd Absolute - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 2018's comic on:


Tags #software upgrade, #idiot, #absurd absolute, #admit when wrong, #eaten unicorn

View Transcript

Transcript

You're an idiot if you think the software upgrade will solve every one of our problems. Dilbert: Or are you an idiot for characterizing my reasonable idea as an absurd absolute? Why cant you admit when you're wrong? Dilbert: Same reason you've never eaten a unicorn.

Employee Body Cams

Thank you for voting.
Employee Body Cams  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 19, 2018's comic on:


Tags #against ceo, #misinterpret warmness, #record interactions, #sexual harrasment, #wear body cams, #complaints

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: we've had seven hundred complaints about sexual harassment in the past month. From now on, employees must wear body cams to r record every interaction. Alice: Weren't all of this e complaints against our CEO? The boss: People misinterpret his warmness.

Zimbu Tests The App

Thank you for voting.
 Zimbu Tests The App - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 19, 2017's comic on:


Tags #technology, #addiction, #stimulus, #animal testing, #social media

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Zimbu The Monkey. Dilbert: We need to do animal testing on our new app. Do you mind taking a look? Zimbu: I'm getting a strong dopamine hit every time I click on it. Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Dilbert: May I have it back? Zimbu: Put that hand away before I bite it off.

Watch That Monitors Health

Thank you for voting.
Watch That Monitors Health - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 2017's comic on:


Tags #health, #wearable tech, #fitbit, #fitness, #monitor, #surveillance

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our new product is a watch that monitors every aspect of your health. Wearing the watch is mandatory for all employees. Your data will automatically stream to our cloud storage. Voice: Because you care about our health? Boss: Sure. We'll go with that.

Suboptimal Barry Dingle

Thank you for voting.
Suboptimal Barry Dingle  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 2017's comic on:


Tags #annoyance, #open-door policy, #corporate culture, #pest

View Transcript

Transcript

Barry: Hi, I'm Barry Dingle. I hang around your office door and ask you questions every time you get off the phone. Boss: I hate that. Barry: You can blame your open-door policy for all of it. Boss: This is sub-optimal.

Boss Gets A Troll

Thank you for voting.
Boss Gets A Troll  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 23, 2017's comic on:


Tags #troll, #social media, #trolling, #insult, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: This idiot keeps insulting me on social media! Every time I block him, he returns with a new account. It's like he never has anything better to do. Dilbert: Do you have a new hobby? Wally: It's more like a passion.

Boss Is The Common Variable

Thank you for voting.
Boss Is The Common Variable - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 2017's comic on:


Tags #managing, #managers, #failure, #common denominator, #Advice, #performance, #motivation

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Every one of my employees is underperforming. What should I do? Catbert: You should fire yourself because you're the only common variable. Boss: I hadn't considered that. Catbert: That's how I know I'm right.

Tina Writes Product Warnings

Thank you for voting.
Tina Writes Product Warnings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 21, 2017's comic on:


Tags #user guide, #caution, #directions, #safety

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Tina, I need you to write the product warning section for the user guide. Make sure you cover every possible danger. Tina: "Never use this product while standing below a poorly maintained helicopter full of porcupines."

Wally's Project Is Not Confirmed

Thank you for voting.
Wally's Project Is Not Confirmed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 2017's comic on:


Tags #memory, #obliviousness, #managers, #executives, #hubris

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally says he has a secret project he can't tell me about. Did you give him that project? CEO: I don't remember every little thing I've ever done. Boss: My best strategy here is to think about other things.