Results Of Survey Comic Strips - Page 6

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92 Results for Results Of Survey

View 51 - 60 results for results of survey comic strips. Discover the best "Results Of Survey" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 13, 2002's comic on:


Tags #females do hunting, #alice stalks prey, #razor sharp words, #hyenas are laughing, #tears her prey

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Dogbert observes Alice and records, "The females of the group do all the hunting. The one I call Alice stalks her prey." Alice is angrily typing an email, "Grrrrr." Dogbert continues, "She pounces. Her razor-sharp words tear the prey to shreds." In another cubicle, a coworker has been burnt and is emitting smoke. Other coworkers lean over the cubicle wall and laugh. Dogbert thinks, "The results are gruesome. Only the hyenas are laughing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 26, 2002's comic on:


Tags #improve morale, #evil director, #disgruntled guy, #fire guy, #misunderstood, #mixed signals

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Catbert says to a meeting, "This survey will help us improve morale." Dilbert turns to Catbert and says, "I misjudged you. I thought you were an evil director of H.R., but you care about morale." Catbert and The Boss are looking reading the surveys. Catbert says, "When we fire this disgruntled guy, my morale will go way up." The Boss giggles, "Hee Hee!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 2002's comic on:


Tags #online self assessment, #survey, #program, #question blank, #says you steal, #bad advice

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Dilbert says to Catbert, "I can't complete the online self-assessment survey. It asks where I need improvement and I don't need any." Dilbert continues, "The program won't let me leave that question blank." Catbert responds, "Just check the box that says you steal." Dilbert responds, "And people will understand that I don't mean it?" Catbert grins and says, "Sure."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 2002's comic on:


Tags #consciousness, #ability to predict, #results of actions, #fully conscious, #array of sensors, #collect data

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Dilbert is walking with a woman. He says, "My theory is that consciousness is the ability to predict and then observe the results of actions." Dilbert continues, "So I think you could build a computer that would be fully conscious." The woman falls asleep. Dilbert carries the woman over his shoulder. He continues, "Obviously you'd need an array of sensors to collect the data."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 2002's comic on:


Tags #low morale, #monkey at zoo, #fling shit, #survey, #request for survey

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The Boss says to Carol, "Carol, put together a survey to find out why morale is so low." Carol responds, "Survey?!! You could ask any monkey at the zoo what the problem is." The Boss is talking to a monkey through zoo bars. The Boss says, "Do NOT fling that. I repeat..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 18, 2001's comic on:


Tags #competitive compensation, #competitive means not highest

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The Boss says to Dilbert and Alice, "According to this survey the compensation here is 'competitive.'" Dilbert responds, "Competitive means not the highest. So we could get paid more if we worked at another company?" Dilbert continues, "Should we continue working as hard as we can or should we back off to a more competitive level?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 13, 2001's comic on:


Tags #psychological profile, #start monday, #employee handbook, #weekend, #gentle biker, #psycho hillbilly

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Catbert is sitting on his desk. He says, "Your psychological profile test results are excellent. Can you start Monday?" A hairy, half dressed man carrying a knife replies, "Monday is fine. I'll read the employee handbook over the weekend." The hairy man says to Dilbert and Alice, "The 'gentle biker' look is overdone. I'm going for 'psycho hillbilly.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 2001's comic on:


Tags #accounting system, #dysfunctional, #meaningless, #payroll exppenses, #zero, #management genius

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Asok and Ed are sitting at a computer. Ed looks irritated. Asok says, "Your accounting system is so dysfunctional that the results are meaningless." Asok continues, "How is it possible that no one has noticed?" Ed replies, "I've always wondered about that." The Boss is sitting at his desk. He thinks to himself, "My payroll expenses are zero again. I'm a management genius."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 31, 2001's comic on:


Tags #parts department, #give parts away, #vicious cycle, #reordering, #brief customer survey, #fill out

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Dilbert is at a parts store. The man behind the counter says, "We don't give out parts anymore." The man continues, "We're trying to end the vicious cycle of reordering." The man then asks, "Would you mind filling out a brief survey of customer satisfaction?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 2001's comic on:


Tags #83% spat, #customer satisfaction survey, #the lucky ones, #died of dehydration, #results of survey

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A female employee says to The Boss and Wally, "The results of our customer satisfaction survey are in." The female employee says, "83% spat at their telephones until they died of dehydration." Asok the Intern, The Boss and Wally listen as the female employee continues, "We're calling that group 'The Lucky Ones'."