Returned Calls Comic Strips - Page 6
122 Results for Returned Calls
View 51 - 60 results for returned calls comic strips. Discover the best "Returned Calls" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share February 21, 2003's comic on:
Dilbert is meeting with a salesman. Dilbert asks, "Do you have any customer references I could call?" The salesman hands him a piece of paper and says, "Right here." Dilbert calls the number, "Beep, beep, boop, beep." The salesman's cell phone rings. The salesman's cell phone continues to ring. Dilbert says, "No answer." The salesman replies, "Try again when I'm in the parking lot."
Share January 26, 2003's comic on:
The Boss calls after Dilbert, "Dilbert, come here for a minute." The Boss and Dilbert are walking towards The Boss' desk. The Boss says, "I need to talk to you about..." He is interrupted by the ringing telephone. The Boss is on the telephone. He holds up his finger at Dilbert. Dilbert thinks, "He's giving me the 'wait' signal." Dilbert continues to think, "I have nothing to look at, nothing to fiddle with, nothing to do." Dilbert continues to think, "I'll try thinking about how my mind controls my muscles." Dilbert's arms start shaking. He thinks, "Uh-oh... I'm getting too conscious of my muscles and it's freaking me out." Dilbert falls back and exclaims, "Gaaa!!! I've lost my mind-body connection!!" Dilbert is on the floor with his feet up in the air. The Boss says into the phone, "The problem with my engineers is that they don't idle well."
Share January 23, 2003's comic on:
Dilbert points to a slide of the beaver and says, "The project is behind schedule because our contractor is a lazy beaver." Dilbert says to The Boss, "For a while he was making up excuses. Now, he doesn't return calls." The Boss replies, "What's your plan?" Dilbert says, "I hope to get him back to making up excuses by promising him more jobs in the future."
Share January 05, 2003's comic on:
The Boss introduces a coworker to Dilbert, "Dilbert, I got a new member for your project team." The coworker extends his hand and says, "My name is Ron but everyone calls me Mo. I don't know why." Dilbert asks, "Mo, why is your shirt on backward?" Mo looks down and exclaims, "What??! Again??!" Mo extends his arms and says, "Stand back. I'll try to fix it by quickly turning around." Mo spins and exclaims, "Aaagh! Hu-aah!" Mo is turned away from Dilbert. Mo says, "Oh, great. Now Dilbert is gone. I must have entered another dimension." Dilbert looks at Mo from behind, puzzled. Dilbert approaches The Boss and says, "Please tell me that his pay is lower than mine." The Boss grins and thinks, "I love this part."
Share December 15, 2002's comic on:
The Boss calls after Dilbert, "Dilbert, I want you to write a letter to our new customer." Dilbert follows The Boss down the hall. The Boss continues, "I'll tell you what to say, then you'll go write it and I'll sign it." The Boss sits at his desk and continues, "This way I won't waste my valuable executive time." He pauses and then continues, "It's efficient." Dilbert responds, "Yes, that's one possible outcome." He pauses and then continues, "Here's another." Dilbert continues, "You'll keep forgetting to mention important things that should be in the letter." Dilbert continues, "I'll be trapped in an endless loop of writing, tracking you down, getting criticized and starting over." Dilbert continues, "Or you could simply write the letter yourself and save us both a huge hassle." The Boss responds, "In paragraph one, say something like 'Hi.'"
Share September 29, 2002's comic on:
The Boss calls after Alice, "Tell everyone I'll be there in a minute." He makes a noise, "Sniff." Alice turns and asks, "What's all that sniffing about? Do you have a cold?" The Boss replies, "Little one." The Boss begins to shake and makes the noise, "Mmph." The Boss' mouth opens very widely and he coughs severely. Papers are blown all around; Alice is hit directly in the face with the cough. Alice exclaims, "Gaaa!!! I took a direct hit!" Alice continues, "The cooties are burrowing into my skin." Alice starts running and exclaims, "I'm unclean!!" The Boss and Catbert watch Alice. The Boss says to Catbert, "I hope that's what motivation looks like." Catbert replies, "Close enough."
Share August 30, 2002's comic on:
Bob says to Dogbert, "I plan to use punctuated equilibrium to turn this zit into a third eye." Dogbert replies, "That's not a natural advantage. You'd better stay away from the fitter dinosaurs." Bob says, "Ha ha! My only enemies are Bullysaurs and they..." A Bullysaur sneaks up behind Bob and calls out, "Hey, zit eye!"
Share August 02, 2002's comic on:
Dilbert reports to The Boss, "Our budget cuts are affecting customer service." The Boss asks, "How much?" Dilbert continues, "Our customer service center spends all day making prank calls to the elderly." A customer service representative says into the phone, "According to our records, your neighbor has treasure buried under his lawn."
Share July 27, 2002's comic on:
Dilbert says to The Boss, "I need your help yelling at a guy to make him do his job." The Boss approaches the coworker from behind and yells, "You worthless, incompetent bug!!! I'll have your head!!!" The Boss asks the coworker, "How much work did that buy?" The coworker responds, "Two phone calls and a meeting."
Share June 30, 2002's comic on:
The Boss interrupts a meeting and says, "Dilbert, can you come with me to a meeting?" Dilbert responds, "Actually, no. I'm running this meeting and it took three weeks to get everyone together." Dilbert says, "If I leave now, sixteen people will be wasting their time." Wally says, "I'll cover for you." Dilbert says to Wally, "You will?" Wally replies, "Sure. Just leave your notes and I'll take care of it." Dilbert follows The Boss and says, "What's the meeting about?" The Boss responds, "It's not exactly a meeting." The Boss, "I need someone to drink the crud on the bottom and then brew a fresh pot." Back at the meeting, Wally calls a vote, "All in favor of leaving before he gets back." Everyone raises their hands. Dilbert returns to an empty meeting. He thinks, "It looks like I'll be exaggerating my accomplishments again this year."