Scampered Away Comic Strips - Page 6

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478 Results for Scampered Away

View 51 - 60 results for scampered away comic strips. Discover the best "Scampered Away" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #optimism, #positive influences, #bad energy

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Asok: Experts say I should surround myself with people who are positive influences. Alice: I'M ON A CALL! Asok: I think I absorbed some bad energy. Wally: Go away before you bum me out.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #sales personnel, #linux, #million dollars, #pay for upgrade, #away for free

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Dogbert: I'll sell you the rights to use Linux for one million dollars. After the first month, you only need to pay for every upgrade. Boss: It sounds too good to be true. Dogbert: It's not as if I'm giving it away for free.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #facial expression, #fear, #scare away the weak, #too busy, #too talk, #i said no

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Alice: I'm working on a new facial expression to scare away the weak. Want to see it? Dilbert: No. Gaaa!!! Alice: That one means I'm too busy to talk. Dilbert: I said no! I said no! I said no!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #sales personnel, #offer discount, #chair, #runaway

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Salesman vs. Engineer Dilbert: Can you offer us a discount? Salesman: I had something like that in mind, except instead of giving a discount, I would hit you with a chair and run away. Dilbert: Please don't do that. Salesman: Okay, but I'll have to charge you extra.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #replacing system, #outdated, #gamification, #hot new trend, #employees wins, #badges, #ribbons, #awrds, #cash value, #garbage, #emotional value

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Boss: We're replacing our outdated system of annual performance reviews. The new system is called Gramification. It's a hot new trend. Employees can win badges, ribbons, and awards for completing tasks. Dilbert: Can we opt for the cash value of those badges, ribbons, and awards? Boss: They don't have any cash value. Dilbert: Oh. Like garbage? Boss: No, not like garbage! Except in the narrow sense of having no functional, economic, or emotional value. Garbage is something you throw away. Dilbert: Hand me an award and watch carefully.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frustration, #office workers, #meaningful work, #gone for a week, #labor camp

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Dilbert: I got kicked out of a North Elbonian labor camp for working too hard. It was the first time I had ever experienced meaningful work and I got carried away. Boss: And your name is...? Dilbert: Seriously? I was gone for one week!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #crimes, #engineers, #engineering question, #holiday lights, #homeless guy, #catapult, #satellite map, #fell off roof, #flight oath, #neighbors pool, #broken leg, #heartless

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Boss: Do you have a minute to answer an engineering question? My wife is out of town visiting her sister. She asked me to put up the holiday lights while she was gone. I hired a homeless guy to do it and he fell off the roof. What's the easiest way to get rid of the body before my wife comes home? Dilbert: Your question is disturbing, but I'm intrigued by the engineering part. Here's a design for a catapult you can build at home. And here's a satellite map showing the best flight path to a neighbor's pool. Did he die right away? Boss: No, just a broken leg.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #work ethic, #good leader, #positive attitude, #sultan, #cublicle, #positive, #wishing harm, #business

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Boss: A good leader has a positive attitude and spreads it by example. Today I lived like a sultan while you slaved away in your cubicle prison. I had a great day. Now it's your turn. Remember to be positive. Dilbert: I'm positive I want you to die.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #choked pooch, #platform deciosn, #throw under bus, #very bad person, #regional idioms

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The Boss: Carl choked the pooch on the platform decision. I need you to throw him under the bus. Asok: He sounds like a very bad person, I will take care of that right away. I just found a website that kits regional idioms. Ive done some bad, bed things.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rich people, #stock market, #victims, #insider training, #victimless crime, #rose bushes, #gardner, #money

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CEO: I did some insider trading and totally got away with it. It felt great! It was a victimless crime so I feel no guilt whatsoever. Dogbert: Do you know what victimless means? CEO: Yes. It's like the time I strangled my gardener for overwatering the rose bushes. Dogbert: I see the problem.