Secret Pact Comic Strips - Page 6

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119 Results for Secret Pact

View 51 - 60 results for secret pact comic strips. Discover the best "Secret Pact" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 2008's comic on:


Tags #anger, #emailed payroll, #pay discrepncy, #punches screen, #quiet, #secret, #smashes computer, #report

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The Boss: Carol, I e-mailed you the department payroll report to reformat. Don't let anyone see it because they might... BAM! Exactly. They might do that.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 2008's comic on:


Tags #wally fired, #exit interview, #manipulation, #rigged system, #boss, #exploding servers

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Wally: I don't hold any grudges about being fired for hanging a comic on the wall. The company will be fine without my secret and exclusive knowledge of the critical systems. If the framistan starts to gabol, just purge the cache within sixty seconds and the servers won't explode.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 11, 2008's comic on:


Tags #sensitive material, #interoffice, #topsecret, #moron, #security department, #slap hard, #run fast

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Ted: Your most sensitive materials should always be sent in an interoffice envelope marked 'top secret. Dilbert: Are you a moron who works in our security department, or an industrial spy who is too lazy to look through lots of envelopes? The boss: Our security guys don't slap that hard or run that fast.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 2008's comic on:


Tags #intern, #mole, #secret, #undercover, #hidden, #blended, #rodent, #animal, #mouselike

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Asok: Someone said our pointy-haired boss hired a mole. Moles creep me out. Dilbert: Mole is a figure of speech. It's not literally a mole. Asok: Why do I feel tiny eyes on the back of my neck?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 2007's comic on:


Tags #20% raise, #two flat screens, #monitors, #evil genius, #second monitor

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Dilbert: "My pay is below market. Can I have a 20% raise?" The Boss: "No, but I'll let you use two flat screen monitors in your cubicle so it feels like you're an evil genius in a secret lair." "Bu-Wa-HAHA!" Wally: "Who got a second monitor?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 09, 2007's comic on:


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"Wally, you have attended thousands of meetings and never gotten an action item. What is your secret?" "When the action items are handed out, I use a certain facial expression to ward them off." "...And I'll need someone to..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 2006's comic on:


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"Wally, I came to ask you for the new design specs." "But we both know you'll send me to someone who doesn't have them, and that person will refer me back to you." "When I return, you will have escaped to your secret hiding place." "Ted has the specs."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 08, 2006's comic on:


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"Now that I know your resume was embellished, you need to talk to the VP of Human Resources." "Are you going to fire me?" "Nah. I'll let you in on a little secret." "I'm the ficus tree that used to be in the lobby."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2006's comic on:


Tags #important sales call, #secret weapon, #ed from sales, #prices identical, #engineering staff, #competitor, #employs loser, #act surprised

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"I need you to accompany me on an important sales call." "Me?" "You're my secret weapon." "Well, okay." "What's your name?" "I'm Ed, from sales." "Only two companies make this type of product. The prices are identical." "The difference is that our engineering staff brings genius and innovation to everything it touches." "Whereas my competitor employs this loser." "Really? I wondered why you didn't look familiar." "Sold!" "You helped make a sale?" "Why does everyone act all surprised?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 2005's comic on:


Tags #topper versus alice, #secret government, #sleep deprived, #slept since febraury, #punch, #rip head, #vulgar

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Topper versus Alice "I didn't get much sleep last night." "That's nothing." "I'm part of a secret government test on sleep deprivation. I haven't slept since February." "I so want to punch you right now." "That's nothing. I'll rip off my own head and make me eat it."