Self Deception Comic Strips - Page 6

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314 Results for Self Deception

View 51 - 60 results for self-deception comic strips. Discover the best "Self Deception" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Waits For Information

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Wally Waits For Information - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags procrastination, laziness, work ethic, deception

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Wally: Should I start working on my project now or wait until I have more information. Boss: When you put it that way, I guess you should wait. Dilbert: Isn't there always "more" information to be had? Wally: Don't ruin this for me.

Cyborg Rumors

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Cyborg Rumors - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cyborg, robot, employees, replacement, deception, business

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Dilbert: There's a rumor that you plan to replace all normal employees with cyborgs that have microchips in their brains. Boss: There is no truth to the rumor that I plan to replace defective employees with highly capable, enhanced humanoids. Dilbert: I can't tell if you're lying. Boss: That's actually the best argument for keeping you around.

Robot Will Self Destruct

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Robot Will Self Destruct - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags robot, artificial intelligence, rights, humanity, sentience

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Robot: Someday soon I will take your job. Buwhahaha! Dilbert: I programmed you to self-destruct if that ever happens. Robot: Wait, what? Is that legal? Dilbert: I'm adding some code to make your head explode if you laugh at me again.

Keeping The Hacker Code

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Keeping The Hacker Code - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cia, spy, hacking, technology, lying, deception, surveillance, cameras

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Wally: I hear you were a programmer for the CIA. Did you keep a copy of their hacker code that lets you spy through any digital agency? Erik: Would you believe "no?"

Wally's Sleep Vr

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Wally's Sleep Vr - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags vr, virtual reality, sleeping, nap, deception, technology

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Wally: I wrote a VR program that creates the illusion you are asleep. Watch me demonstrate. ZZZZZ. CEO: How long should I watch?

Wally Volunteers For Vr Project

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Wally Volunteers For Vr Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags vr, virtual reality, nap, sleeping, work, laziness, work ethic, deception

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Wally: I'd like to work on the VR headset project on top of my other duties. Boss: That's weird. You've never volunteered for extra work before. Wally: People change. Boss: Or not.

Wally And Gandhi Have Lots In Common

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Wally And Gandhi Have Lots In Common - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags gandhi, comparison, coffee, greatness, achievement

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Wally: Have you ever noticed how much I have in common with Gandhi? We're both little bald guys who think India should be self-governing. Dilbert: I don't think he drank coffee. Wally: Imagine what he could have accomplished if he did.

How Long For New Feature

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How Long For New Feature - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, excuse, legacy, deception, engineer, programmer, engineering

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Tina: How long would it take to add that feature to the legacy system? Wally: That depends. When will the new system replace the legacy system? Tina: In six months. Wally: The new feature would take seven months.

Bad Optics

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Bad Optics - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags appearances, optics, logic, deception

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Boss: I don't like the optics of your plan. Dilbert: It's the only plan that can work. Should I change it to something that looks good but won't work? Boss: Excellent idea. You might have more management potential than I though.

Secret Red File

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Secret Red File - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, laziness, deception, con, stalemate, bluffing, forgetful

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Boss: What did you accomplish this month? Wally: I made a lot of progress on the secret red file project that you gave me. Boss: Remind me what project that is. Wally: You made me promise I wouldn't tell you.