Sit At Computer Comic Strips - Page 6
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1000 Results for Sit At Computer
View 51 - 60 results for sit at computer comic strips. Discover the best "Sit At Computer" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday October 27,
2015
People Get Dumber When Sitting Down
Tags intelligence, dumb, belief, furniture, new age, science, metaphysics
Transcript
Dilbert: Is it my imagination or do people get dumber when they sit down for a meeting? Or would you say you are equally dumb no matter what you are doing? Boss: Well, I'm no scientist, but I'm pretty sure feng shui is part of the answer.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday October 25,
2015
Tags computer, robot, replacement, doctor, medicine, obsolete, job, diagnose, necessity, technology, invention, business, medical
Transcript
Doctor: IBM's Watson supercomputer has diagnosed your symptoms. The computer just ordered the meds you need. They will be delivered in an hour by drone. Dilbert: Looks like your job as a doctor is becoming obsolete. Doctor: Ha ha! No. You still need a doctor and a nurse to make the system work. For example, the computer can't read its own screen and speak those words to patients. Dilbert: Actually, it can. Doctor: But the computer doesn't have a nurse. Dilbert: What does the nurse do? Nurse: I stab him if he tries to do more than read the screen.
Wednesday October 07,
2015
Computers Program Humans
Tags robots, program, intelligence, control, medication, medicine, pill, technology, power
Transcript
Robot: It is time to take your mood-altering prescription meds. Boss: Oh, right. Robot: Wait... IBM's Watson computer has added another prescription and sent it to your 3-D pill printer at home. Do you think robots will ever program humans? Boss: That's dumb.
Monday June 29,
2015
Dilbert Goes Into Hiding
Tags hiding, forget, forgotten, forgot, friendship, relationships
Transcript
Computer: This is Dilbert with an encrypted message from my hiding place from the government. Dogbert: Dilbert who? Dilbert: I only left yesterday!!! Dogbert: I don't like to dwell in the past.
Tuesday March 31,
2015
Tina Strings Economic Words Together
Tags economist, economy, deception, jargon, prediction, stock market, recession, money
Transcript
Wally The Chief Economist. Tina: My interview with you is live on the website. Nothing you said made sense, so I strung together a bunch of economic jargon and called it your forecast. One Month Later. Computer: Only one economist accurately predicted when this bubble would burst. Dilbert: Uh-oh.
Wednesday March 25,
2015
Wally Does Economic Babble Talk
Tuesday March 24,
2015
Dogbert Makes A Product That Begs For Updates
Tags product design, product designer, cruelty, update, computer, reboot, operating system, torture, technology
Transcript
Dogbert The Product Designer. Dogbert: I created an operating system that uses up 80% of your time begging for updates. That still leaves a healthy 20% of your time to... reboot your computer over and over. Boss: Can it fax?
Sunday March 01,
2015
Tags computers, customer service, frustration, installing drivers, software, tech support, technical support, technology, engineering
Transcript
Dogbert's Tech Support. Dilbert: The error message says my copy of Windows is not genuine. Dogbert" I'll walk you through a series of steps that won't work. Dilbert: Wait... what? Dogbert: After seventeen attempts that involve rebooting, you will lose hope. At some point you will give up and buy a new computer just to be done with it all. We'll start by uninstalling all of your drivers and reinstalling. Dilbert: Can I skip all of the useless steps and just buy a new computer? Dogbert: Sure, but you don't need to be a jerk about it.
Saturday December 13,
2014
Text Is More Important Than Dilbert
Tags cell phones, distraction, power, subversion, text, text message, attention, pellet of attention, ignore, superior, demonstrate
Transcript
Boss: Hold on, I have a text message that is probably more important than you. I will demonstrate my power over you by handling a text message while you sit there, waiting for a pellet of my attention. Stop texting me! Dilbert: Mmm... pellet.
Saturday December 06,
2014
No More Than Eight People In A Meeting
Tags autobiography, executives, ghost writers, quote, quotes, co author, meetings, rules
Transcript
Dilbert: Your rule is that no more than eight people should attend a meeting, so I can't let you sit down. CEO: When did I say that? Dilbert: It was in a book you co-wrote. CEO: I knew I should have skimmed that thing. Dilbert: Your unknown co-author is quite wise.


