Special Class Comic Strips - Page 6

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218 Results for Special Class

View 51 - 60 results for special class comic strips. Discover the best "Special Class" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 31, 2010's comic on:


Tags #class, #expenses, #money, #options, #fire, #stupid, #dog, #animals

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Dilbert says, "I need this class to update my skills. Will you approve the expense?" The Boss says, "Where's the analysis of alternatives?" Dilbert says, "What?" The Boss says, "When you ask for funding, you need to tell me what my options are." Dilbert says, "Well, okay. That seems logical." Dilbert says, "Option two. Do nothing while I become increasingly unqualified for my job." Dilbert says, "Option three: replace me with someone younger who earns less than I do and already has the skills." Dilbert says, "Oh." Dilbert says, "Options are only good when other people don't have them."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 25, 2010's comic on:


Tags #communication skills, #training, #class, #stand on stool, #idiots, #pairs, #coworker

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Communication Skills Training Dogbert says, "Today you will learn how to listen to idiots without snoring." Dogbert says, "Break into groups of two, with one idiot and one non-idiot in each pair."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 24, 2010's comic on:


Tags #class, #personality, #communication skills, #shake hand, #coffee cup, #psychology

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The Boss says, "I signed you up for a class to try and get rid of that thing you have." Dilbert says, "What thing?" The Boss says, "The thing. You know. The thing that makes you the way you are." Dilbert says, "My personality?" The Boss says, "Exactly. But we call it communication skills because it sounds less rude."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 2010's comic on:


Tags #special project, #secret, #confidential, #idiot, #question, #placebo

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Dilbert says, "I need answers to these questions for a confidential project. I can't tell you more." Coworker says, "I'm a complete idiot and even I can deduce from your questions what the project must be." Dilbert says, "I anticipated that, so some of you idiots are getting placebo questions." Coworker says, "Well played."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 09, 2010's comic on:


Tags #special project, #secret, #confidential, #dig grave, #shovel, #death, #medical

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The Boss says, "I need you to work on a highly confidential project." The Boss says, "When you're done, I want you to dig your own shallow grave and beat yourself to death with the shovel." Dilbert says, "Why does it feel as if my entire career has been preparation for this project?" The Boss says, "You're welcome."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 30, 2010's comic on:


Tags #date, #restaurant, #menu, #pottery class, #sarcastic, #art, #whittle, #spoons

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Woman says, "Maybe we could take a pottery class together." Dilbert says, "Sure. I love acquiring unattractive dishware in an expensive and inefficient way." Woman says, "It's called art." Dilbert says, "Maybe we could whittle some art spoons too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 2010's comic on:


Tags #public speaking class, #meeting, #habits, #personalities, #robots, #Fun, #sarcastic, #business

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The Boss says, "I'm sending all of you to a public speaking class." The Boss says, "They will rid you of your nervous habits? and, with any luck, your personalities too. You will become indistinguishable from robots." Alice says, "Is that as fun as it sounds?" Asok says, "Get out of my head!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #meeting, #training, #raising hand, #firing, #confused, #surprised, #business

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The Boss says, "Who needs training to keep up with technology trends?" Ted says, "Me." The Boss says, "You're fired. I only want people who already know how to do their jobs." Ted says, "I did not see that coming." Wally says, "They don't have a class to fix that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 20, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #anger management, #argument, #annoyed, #business

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Catbert says, "I'm sending you to an anger management class because of your recent outburst against your boss." Dilbert says, "When one is being abused by a figure of authority, anger is a healthy and appropriate response." Catbert says, "Right. We want less of that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 2009's comic on:


Tags #vacation, #delegating, #excuses, #volunteering, #cruel, #mean

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The boss says, "Alice, you'll be acting manager next week while I'm on vacation." Alice says, "I can't. I'll be in a training class all week." The boss says, "Dilbert, you'll?" Dilbert says, "I'll be at a customer site all week." The boss says, "Carol..." Carol says, "I'll be getting my tubes tied." The Boss says, "Asok..." Asok says, "I'm going to my grandmother's funeral in India." Wally says, "Yes? Is there something you need me to do?" The Boss says, "Attend a funeral in India. Tell everyone you're Asok and you had a horrible accident." The boss says, "Tell them the acid destroyed your hair and your personality." Wally says, "That took an ugly turn."