Stop Ahead Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

449 Results for Stop Ahead

View 51 - 60 results for stop ahead comic strips. Discover the best "Stop Ahead" comics from Dilbert.com.

Yelling At Tina

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Yelling At Tina - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #tina, #information, #requested, #disappointment, #normal, #tone, #voice, #yelling

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Tina says you yelled at her for not having the information you requested. Incorrect. I expressed my disappointment with a normal tone of voice. The Boss: Stop yelling at me!!! Dilbert: I no longer know what "yelling" means.

Dogbert The Insultant

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert The Insultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #business, #insultant, #journal, #week, #fat, #stupid, #question, #list

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the business insultant. Dogbert: Make a journal of everything you do for a week. Then stop doing everything that is on your list because it's making you fat and stupid. The Boss: I have some questions. Dogbert: Add "asks questions" to your list.

Speaking Truth To Power

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Speaking Truth To Power - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ted, #the boss, #performance review, #perform, #power

View Transcript

Transcript

Performance Review The Boss: I've seen a lot of employees in my day, and you are definitely one of them. Ted: Are you saying generic things because you don't know what my job is or how well I performed? The boss: And... You speak truth to power. Ted: Please stop.

Elbonian Ninjas

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonian Ninjas - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #controversy, #offense, #offensive, #threat, #murder, #ninja, #optimism

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The sales video you made for our Elbonian market is causing a public relations crisis. Their government has ordered Elbonian ninjas to kill you in your sleep. Dilbert: In my sleep? The best way to die! Boss: Stop confusing my bad news with your good news.

Facial Recognition Software

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Facial Recognition Software - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #facial recognition, #stupid, #insult, #obliviousness, #prototype, #intelligence

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm designing a device that uses facial recognition to detect stupidity. I need your help creating the pattern-recognition algorithm. Boss: What do you need me to do? Dilbert: Look straight ahead and smile.

Already Tried That Plan

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Already Tried That Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #disagreement, #argument, #opposites, #conflict

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We tried that plan already and it didn't work. Boss: Stop living in the past. Dilbert: Stop refusing to learn from experience. Boss: Wait... why do we both sound right? Dilbert; I don't know. It's freaking me out a little.

Dating A Skeleton

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dating A Skeleton - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sex, #dating, #relationships, #questioning, #desperation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you mind if I ask you a personal question? Skeleton: Go ahead. But if you ask me if I'm dead, there is no chance I'll be rattling bones with you later. What's your question? Dilbert: It can wait until tomorrow.

Spare Time

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Spare Time - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #time, #help, #rudeness

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Do you have some spare time to help me on my project? Dilbert: There's no such thing as spare time. There is only you inconveniencing me for your own selfish benefit. Man: You're being rude. Dilbert: Stop blaming the victim.

Boss The Bottleneck

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss The Bottleneck  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nickname, #name-calling

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I wish I had a cool nickname at work. Dilbert: You do. You're known as the "Frickin' Bottleneck." Boss: Who calls me that? Dilbert; Bad people. I try to stop them.

Optimal Meeting Density

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Optimal Meeting Density  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #excuses, #excuse, #meeting, #meetings, #powerpoint, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: We've achieved optimal meeting density. We have so many meetings that I can avoid all of them by saying I have another meeting at the same time. Man: While you're here, can you review my slide deck? Wally: I'd love to, but I have fifty slide decks ahead of you.