Team Building Comic Strips - Page 6

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294 Results for Team Building

View 51 - 60 results for team building comic strips. Discover the best "Team Building" comics from Dilbert.com.

Selfish Team Player

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Selfish Team Player - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 2015's comic on:


Tags #hypocrisy, #team, #semantics, #flaw, #personality disorder, #success, #selfish, #business

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Asok: If being selfish is necessary for success, how can I claim to be a team player? Wally: I like to use a tool called hypocrisy. Asok: That is actually a character flaw. Wally: Oh. No wonder people are so prickly about it.

Boss Survives Fall From Bridge

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Boss Survives Fall From Bridge - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 2015's comic on:


Tags #accident, #falling, #walking, #help, #emergency, #apathy, #Sports

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Boss: I survived falling off the bridge when we were taking our long walk to discuss business. I ended up a mile downstream. That's probably why the search team didn't find me. Dilbert: Yup.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 23, 2015's comic on:


Tags #technology, #unemployment, #replacement, #obsolete, #app, #job, #jobs, #dating, #logic, #business, #relationships

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Woman: ...and that's what I do for a living. What do you do? Dilbert: I'm building an app that will make your entire industry obsolete. I'm almost done. It looks pretty good. Woman: You're destroying my life! Dilbert: No, I'm only making the app. The app will be destroying your life. Woman: This got awkward, but I'm attracted to smart men, so... would you like to go out this weekend? Dilbert: I don't think that's a good idea. I can't get past your dead-end career.

Dilbert Fixes Boss's Technology Strategy

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Dilbert Fixes Boss's Technology Strategy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 09, 2015's comic on:


Tags #verbiage, #technical, #jargon, #deception, #logic, #team player, #babble

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Dilbert: fixed your technology strategy. I couldn't make it sound logical, so I buried the stupid parts under seven layers of technical babble. Add an irrelevant graph and no one will be the wiser... literally. Boss: Please stop being a team player.

Useless Mansplainers

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Useless Mansplainers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 2015's comic on:


Tags #mansplainer, #relations between the sexes, #sexism, #Women, #engineers, #programmers, #furstration

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Alice: I can't get any work done because my project team is a bunch of useless mansplainers. Why do men feel the need to explain things to me when I know more than they do? Boss: Let me explain it to you, Alice. Men like to show off and feel important. Alice: Stop it!

Dilbert Needs To Show Leadership

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Dilbert Needs To Show Leadership - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 2014's comic on:


Tags #criticism, #leadership, #logic, #managers, #project, #team members, #job, #fixed, #responsibility, #business

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Boss: You need to show more leadership on your project. Dilbert: How do you know my leadership is a problem? Maybe the team members are bad followers. Boss: It's your job to fix it either way. Dilbert: The way you just fixed me with your leadership?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 15, 2014's comic on:


Tags #employees, #managers & supervisors, #power (social sciences), #boss, #emplyee, #team members, #decisions, #all equal, #saprtacus, #business

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Boss: I dislike the words "boss" and "employee." From now on, we are all "team members." I'll be the team member that makes the decisions and gets paid the most. You'll be the team members I punish when things go wrong. Dilbert: But otherwise we are all equal? Boss: Whoa! Calm down, Spartacus.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 2014's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #great team, #great results, #inexperienced intern, #useless guy, #corpse, #exoskeleton, #conflicts with plan

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Dilbert: Experts say you need a great team to get great results. We're going to prove them wrong because our team is an inexperienced intern, a useless guy, a corps in an exoskeleton and me. Wally: That conflicts with my plan to prove the experts right.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 2014's comic on:


Tags #leadership, #smart way, #leading, #acting, #twisting, #hired idiots

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Boss: You didn't show leadership on your project. Dilbert: Are you saying I didn't do things in a smart way? Boss: Leading is different from acting in the smartest way. Dilbert: So... either I can do things the smart way or I can be a leader like you? Boss: Stop twisting things around! You need to be smart and you need to show leadership! You can't expect your team to do what you want just because it's the smartest path. Dilbert: Remind me which one of us hired those idiots.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 20, 2014's comic on:


Tags #crime victims, #embarrassment, #lost money, #phishing scam, #questioning support, #stifle laugh

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Boss; I lost all of my money to a phishing scam. Catbert: Must... stifle... laugh. Mmmph! Pressure is building. Must contain... \\ Boss: Are you being supportive? I can't tell. Catbert: Mmmph!