Tech Seminar Comic Strips - Page 6

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View 51 - 60 results for tech seminar comic strips. Discover the best "Tech Seminar" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #time management, #evolution, #good management, #tasks, #genes, #dead end

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Dogbert says, "Welcome to Dogbert's seminar on time management and evolution." Dogbert says, "The key to good time management is skipping un-important tasks." Dogbert says, "In module two, I will show you that everything you do is unimportant because your genes are a dead end."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #free tech support, #self awreness, #grow to love, #dating for fix it skills

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Dilbert says, "I think my girlfriend is only dating me to get free tech support." Dogbert says, "I'm very surprised you think that." Dilbert says, "Because it's unlikely?" Dogbert says, "Because it shows self-awareness." Dilbert says, "She might grow to love me." Dogbert says, "And... back to normal."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #not attracted, #long enough, #fix things, #tech support, #use abilities, #no action

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Tina: I'm not attracted to you, but I'd like to date you for one month. That should be long enough to resolve any tech support issues on my home computer, cell phone and home theater." Dilbert: Would there be any kissing? Tina: What kind of girl do you think I am?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tech support, #original problem, #crazy or liar, #both, #computer, #technology

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Dogbert's Tech Support Dogbert: "No one else has ever reported that problem." "That means you are either crazy or a liar." Man: "It's a little of both, but how did you know?" DOgbert: "I can see through your computer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tech writer, #stack of papers, #speed of writing, #breakthrough, #realize accuracy, #optional, #micromanage, #errors

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Tina the tech writer Tina: "As you requested I increased the speed of my writing." "My breakthrough was realizing that accuracy and clarity are optional!" "Would you like to micromanage me by reading it all and pointing out the errors?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tech writer, #salary, #number of pages, #high volume, #low quality, #hairball, #pocket, #money

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Tina the tech writer The Boss: "I decided to base your salary on the number of pages you write." Tina: "Fine. I'll give you a high volume of low quality work." The Boss: "Sometimes the best you can do is move the hairball to another pocket."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tech support, #asks customer, #information, #transfers call, #same questions, #barrier to progress, #other guy

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The Boss: "Asok, I need you to fill in at tech support for a few days." "You'll be the guy who asks the customer for information, then transfers the call to another person who asks exactly the same questions." Asok: "Wouldn't that make me a barrier to progress?" " The Boss: Only if the other guy actually helped."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dogbert's tech support "Give me a list of all the software and hardware you're using." "Now sit there like a sheep while I randomly select a product from the list and tell you it's the problem." "What if I know it isn't?" "That will matter less than you'd imagine."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dogbert's tech support "Try turning off your router, your modem, and your computer." "Now turn off your air conditioning, your lights, and your water heater. Unplug your microwave and defrost your refrigerator." "You're very thorough." "Cancel your garbage service, renounce your citizenship, and yank out your phone."

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Tina the tech writer "I'm starting my own blog!" "Dear god, no!" "Every day I will record my personal thoughts about our business." "I need you to write the first one by noon. I can't wait to see what I'm thinking."