Technology Comic Strips - Page 6
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803 Results for Technology
View 51 - 60 results for technology comic strips. Discover the best "Technology" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday March 06,
2021
Focus Or Spread
Tags managers & supervisors, focus, project, expense, business, employment, low quality, work, magic, attention, technology, sarcasm
Transcript
dilbert: do you prefer that i focus on one of my projects at the expense of all the others... or should i spread my attention across all of my projects and do low-quality work on all of them? and your answer cannot involve magic. boss: can i hear the choices again.
Friday March 05,
2021
Think About Long Term
Tags business, technology, long term, dynamics, reasonable, random, decision, job, employment
Transcript
office worker: we need to think longer term about how all of these dynamics play out. dilbert: sounds reasonable. what exactly were we doing before? office worker: i can't speak for anyone else, but i was making random decisions and hoping i'd change jobs before anyone found out.
Thursday March 04,
2021
Not The Smartest
Tags business, engineers, smart, iterate, technology, leadership, incompetence, excellence, sarcasm
Transcript
boss: we might not have the smartest engineers, but we can iterate faster than anyone. dilbert: actually, we do have the smartest engineers, but your leadership incompetence cancels out our excellence. dilbert: and i'll bet you don't know what "iterate" means. boss: i didn't think it would matter.
Sunday February 28,
2021
Destroy The Competition
Tags business, technology, destroy, competition, approve, violence, figure of speech, engineers, literal, competitors, beat, sticks, sarcasm, incite, figurative, speech
Transcript
boss: we need to destroy our competition! dilbert: i don't approve of violence. boss: i didn't say anything about violence. dilbert: you said "destroy" them. i don't see how that could mean anything else. boss: it was just a figure of speech. dilbert waving arms: we're engineers! you can't use figurative speech with us. we take things literally. so, what exactly is it you want us to do with our competitors? boss: beat them! dilbert: with sticks?
Thursday February 25,
2021
Worst Place To Work
Tags barrel, best, business, dead, employees, employment, place, publication, squirrels, technology, trade, work, sarcasm
Transcript
boss in board room: a trade publication ranked us dead last on their list of "best places to work." the review says, "employees say working there is like eating a barrel of dead squirrels." boss: could have been worse. dilbert: only for the squirrels.
Wednesday February 24,
2021
You Make Luck
Tags business, technology, luck, wisdom, rewiring, super, employee, double, workload, brain, rewire, monster
Transcript
boss: remember, asok, you don't find luck, you go out and make it. asok yelling and waving arms: i feel your wisdom rewiring my brain and turning me into a super-employee! boss: it usually doesn't work this fast. asok: please double my workload, you beautiful monster!
Tuesday February 23,
2021
Simulation Nonsense
Tags business, computer, computer software, days, fast, nonsense, ruin, simulation, technology, upgrade, coffee
Transcript
tina: it feels as if the days are going by faster lately. dilbert: that's because we're a computer simulation that just got a software upgrade. tina: there's really nothing you can't ruin with that nonsense, is there? dilbert: i hear that a lot.
Thursday February 18,
2021
Dogbert Gets Greenland
Tags stock market, business, technology, stock, greenland, sale, mercenary, army, apple, bitcoin
Transcript
dilbert: wow. my apple stock just went up 1.5%. dogbert: i sold all of my bitcoin to acquire greenland. dilbert: i didn't know it was for sale. dogbert: it wasn't, but luckily a mercenary army was.
Monday February 15,
2021
Internal Audit
Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, audit, accounting, internal, shoo, great, job
Transcript
auditor: i'll be performing an internal audit of your department. boss: there are no audit problems here because i won't let you look for them. shoo! auditor: that's good enough for me. can you tell my boss i did a great job?
Sunday February 14,
2021
Industry Trends
Tags business, technology, industry, trend, luck, act, fast, change, increase, profits, advantage, future, bogus, training, program, company
Transcript
in board room. boss: industry trends just turned our way by total luck. we have to act fast! i need to implement some kind of change so it looks as if i caused the increase in profits that will happen anyway. does anyone have any ideas? dilbert: no, because we're already perfectly situated to take advantage of the trend. boss upset: that doesn't help me! i can't take credit for our future profits unless i do something i can say made a difference. dilbert: maybe you could implement some sort of bogus company culture training program. one week later. dogbert presenting on a stage: it's important to realize you're all idiots.

