Ted Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

448 Results for Ted

View 51 - 60 results for ted comic strips. Discover the best "Ted" comics from Dilbert.com.

Bad Planning

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bad Planning - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, teamwork, team, deadline

View Transcript

Transcript

ted: i need your help on my project today, or i'll miss my deadline. dilbert: are you trying to turn your lack of planning into my problem? ted: i was hoping you would be a team player. dilbert: i'm holding out for an offer from a better team.

Two Step Reorg

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Two Step Reorg - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, reorganization

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i just got word that we're about to start a two-step reorg. the boss: in step one, we will centralize functions. then, in step two, we will realize it was a huge mistake and reorganize back to the old way. ted: why don't we just keep it the way it is? dilbert: first day?

Welcome Baskets

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Welcome Baskets - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, racism, new employee

View Transcript

Transcript

alice, the boss and ask at table. the boss: i need a volunteer to assemble welcome baskets for our new hires. alice: i recommend ask the intern because obviously, it would be sexist to ask a women to do it. the boss: good point. ask, the project is yours. ted thinking: racist.

Think Of You As Family

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Think Of You As Family - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office, office workers, business, fired, boarding school

View Transcript

Transcript

team meeting in conference room. the boss: i think of all of you as family. dilbert: you fired ted yesterday. the boss: i also sent my son to boarding school. what's your point?

Dating A Unicorn

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dating A Unicorn - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, dating, office, office workers, unicorn

View Transcript

Transcript

ted: i hear you're dating a unicorn. dilbert: that is absurd and untrue. ted: then how do you explain the fact that five people told me it was true? ted: i mean, you'd have to believe all five of them are idiots. dilbert: including you, it's six.

Helping Ted

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Helping Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags engineering, frustration, help, office, office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to help Ted on his project. He seems to be struggling. Dilbert: That would doom two projects - mine would suffer from neglect, and Ted would re-bungle anything I fix. Boss: Maybe Ted can help you on your project. Dilbert: Gaaaaa!!!

Take The Stairs

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Take The Stairs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags birthdays, encouragement, exercise & fitness, health, office, office workers, company, life insurance

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The company encourages you to take the stairs instead of the elevator because it is good for your health. Ted: I take the elevator because my life insurance doesn't pay off if I kill myself all at once. Boss: On another topic, we will celebrate birthdays this month with cake in the break room. Ted: Perfect.

Best Product

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Best Product - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags criticism, jokes, meetings, office, office workers, sarcasm, presentation

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: As you can see from this chart, our product has been rated number one for six years in a row. Dilbert: Why does your chart stop four years ago? Ted: I'll bet you don't get invited to a lot of parties. Dilbert: That's just a lucky guess.

Firing Ted

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Firing Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, managers & supervisors, office, office workers, panic, suspicious

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Ted, come to my office at five o'clock. Ted: Gaaa!!! That's what you say when you plan to fire people! Boss: Don't be ridiculous. Also, bring your keys.

Ask Ted

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ask Ted  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, insults, office workers, sarcasm, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Do you have the test data? Dilbert: No. Ask Ted. Man: Ted said you have it. Dilbert: I say Ted has it. Man: One of you must dislike me. Dilbert: That's not true. It could be both of us.