Television News Comic Strips - Page 6
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Character
248 Results for Television News
View 51 - 60 results for television news comic strips. Discover the best "Television News" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday June 29,
2009
Tags sitting, news, deception, evil
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Sales are tanking because our online reviews are awful." The boss says, "Cripple a feature and change the model number so the online reviews look stale." Dilbert says, "Wow. That was a lot of evil packed into one sentence." The boss says, "Thank you."
Friday June 19,
2009
Tags angry, pointing, flaws, yelling, screaming
Transcript
Dilbert says, "You'd actually be attractive if you didn't have crazy eyes." Woman says, "What?" Dilbert says, "The eyes are the mirror of the soul. Your soul appears to be mostly spiders and bad news." Dilbert says, "Any minute now?" Woman says, "You cause the rain!"
Monday May 11,
2009
Tags raise, bribery, agreement, money, clothes, confused, crime
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of human resources Wally says, "According to the news, everyone in power is corrupt." Catbert says, "So?" Wally says, "If you give me a 20% raise, I'll kick back half to you." Catbert says, "Done." Dilbert says, "How did you afford a new vest in this economy? Crime?" Wally says, "I'm dabbling."
Saturday May 09,
2009
Tags newspaper, scared, praying, stock broker, sitting, computer, reading, smiling, technology, Entertainment
Transcript
Carol says, "Your stockbroker is in the news today." The boss says, "Uh-oh." The boss says, "Please be because he won a humanitarian award?or he was killed by a celebrity." Carol says, "Ironically, several celebrity humanitarians do want to kill him now." The boss says, "Gaaaa!!!"
Thursday April 23,
2009
Tags work, project, change, angry, frustrated, stupidity
Transcript
The Boss says, "I made some improvements to your drawings and sent them for fabrication." Dilbert says, "Gaaa!!!" The boss says, "But don't worry - I left your name on them so you'll get all of the credit." Dilbert says, "Waaaa!!!" The boss says, "You don't handle good news very well." Dilbert says, "Shoot me! Shoot me! Shoot me!"
Tuesday February 24,
2009
Tags complaining, yelling, angry, future
Transcript
Asok the intern says, "Your generation is leaving my generation a dying planet and a crippling debt." Wally says, "Hee Hee!" Asok the intern says, "But we shall invent life-extending drugs so you will suffer along with us! Ha!" News Wally says, "Uh-oh." Asok the intern says, "We will connect you to machines and keep you alive until the poor demand to eat you." Wally says, "Well played."
Monday September 15,
2008
Tags elbonia, inflation rate, billion percent, potato, philmsk, bardley
Transcript
The news says, "The inflation rate in Elbonia climbed to a billion percent." An Elbonian says, "Quickly hand me the potato and I'll tell my cousin in Phlimsk to let go of the other end of my money." Another Elbonian says, "Make it snappy." The first Elbonian says, "Bradley! I have the potato!"
Monday September 01,
2008
Tags job interview, bed news, upset, hire someone, hates boss, set up, cruel
Transcript
Job Interview The Boss says, "Would you tell me bad news even if you knew it would upset me?" A man says, "Yes, I would." The Boss says, "Why would I hire someone who hates me?"
Saturday May 31,
2008
Tags company news letter, compile beta test, in memorium, newsletter
Transcript
The Boss: Wally, are you busy? Wally: Yes, I'm reading the 'In Memoriam' section of our company newsletter." The Boss: When you're done, can you compile the beta test results?" Wally: Sure. Just as soon as I get the data from... Larry."
Sunday January 27,
2008
Tags agreement, bad news, euphoric feeling, harsh landing, illusion of progress, lasts a minute, momentary sweetness, reacts, spoiler, planning meeting
Transcript
Alice: Okay, we have a good plan forward. This meeting is adjourned. Oooh!!!" "AaaaH!!!" Asok: What is that?"AAAH!! Dilbert: She's tasting the sweet nectar of the illusion in progress. It's that euphoric feeling you get between the time you make a plan and the time some moron thwarts it. AAAH!!! It can last anywhere from less than a minute to as much as a minute. Wally: Ted won't meet with us because someone told him that you told someone else he was an obstacle. Alice: GRRRRR!!! Dilbert: The landing is harsh."

