Unused Computers Comic Strips - Page 6

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99 Results for Unused Computers

View 51 - 60 results for unused computers comic strips. Discover the best "Unused Computers" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Asok, this is Albert. He's old but we need to call him mature." "Explain to him what the computers are, but don't let him touch anything. The elderly like to fiddle." "I was a chip designer in my last job." "Really? Chocolate or poker?"

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"This week I tried to work, but pop-up messages kept telling me to update my computer's software." "I tried closing the pop-up windows, but they just kept coming back. There were too many of them!" "Did you upgrade your software?" "Great. I see whose side you're on."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accused of stealing, #computers, #took the fifth, #job interview, #lied, #stole

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Why did you leave your last job? "They accused me of stealing four computers." "Did they make you confess?" "I took the fifth."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Having two computers is a violation of the company's 5S rules of standardized workspace. "I need two computers to test my software. There's no way to do my job with one." "I have a compromise solution. Put this little red tag on one of them and tell me later if anything bad happens."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #smokers, #harness energy, #unused computers, #create electricity, #outside everyday, #slope

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Dilbert: The smokers in this building take hundreds of trips outside to smoke everyday. We can harness that kinetic energy to create electricity ti power their unused computers. pant pant too much slope

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laughs alot, #hired, #morale, #big impact, #crazy alice

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"You laugh at everything, whether it's funny or not." "Ha ha ha!! It's true." "You're hired. You'll have a big impact on morale!" "Ha ha ha!! Yes, I will!" "Must stay alive." "HA HA HA!! COMPUTERS ARE FUNNY! HA HA!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reservation, #computers are cardboard, #props, #furniture store, #security prurposes, #frisk me

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Dilbert is at the airport. The Elbonian at the ticket counter of Elbonia Air says, "I don't see your reservation." The Elbonian continues, "Maybe it's because all of our computers are cardboard props that we stole from a furniture store." The Elbonian holds gloves out towards Dilbert and says, "For security purposes, would you care to frisk me?" Dilbert responds, "Yes."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interpersonal skills, #propaganda cd, #training cd, #intern, #looking for self imporvement

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Asok says to Catbert, "I would like to improve my interpersonal skills." Catbert responds, "Take this training CD back to your cube and go wild." Asok sits at his computer in fear as the CD says, "Humans are weak. Computers are strong. Come, join our side."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #celan desk award, #winner, #facilities people, #appeared unused, #higher tax bracket, #asok, #intern, #desk, #took desk

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The Boss points to Asok and says, "Asok is the winner of the $25 'Clean Desk Award.'" Asok responds, "Yesterday the facilities people took my desk because it appeared to be unused." Asok sits on the floor in his cubicle. He thinks, "I hope this doesn't bump me into a higher tax bracket."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #best practices, #classified budget, #consultanats, #layoffs, #merger, #new ceo, #office relocation, #reorganized, #savings, #startegy, #whole industry, #budget freeze

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Dilbert points to a diagram that reads, "Year 1." He says, "The project got off to a slow start." Dilbert continues, "First we had the reorganization." Dilbert continues, "Then the merger. And the layoffs." Dilbert continues, "Budget freeze. Office relocation." Dilbert continues, "New Ceo, New consultants, New strategy." Business associates listen as Dilbert continues, "Eventually the whole industry changed and the opportunity evaporated." Dilbert continues, "So we classified our unused budget as "savings" and gave everyone a shirt. A female business associate turns to The Boss and says, "You said you'd show us your 'best practices.'" The Boss replies, "What are you implying?"